


The End Days (well, years)

by fandomgeek14



Series: An Ineffable Family [1]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Emotional Manipulation, Established Relationship, F/M, Implied/Referenced Torture, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), M/M, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-31
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2020-04-05 05:23:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 22
Words: 34,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19041985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandomgeek14/pseuds/fandomgeek14
Summary: over a year after Almost-geddon, Crowley and Aziraphale are in a stable relationship (well, as stable as a relationship between an angel and a demon can be) but after a baby materialises out of Aziraphale in January  that turns out to be half angel half demon, the peaceful tranquillity of life comes to a very abrupt stop.





	1. The Twelve Days of Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> so this basically came about because I've been super into Good Omens recently (binge watched the series in a day and read the book in like three) and I wondered what would happen if Crowley and Aziraphale had to raise a child and then thought what would happen if there was such a thing as a half-demon, half-angel. then it occured to me what would happen if I merged the two thoughts together and well this was the result. oh also this takes place in 2019 (following the Amazon Prime series chronology) but has references to the book.

6th January 2021 3:14 am 

"How did we get saddled with this-this thing?” Crowley, the demon had asked the Angel, Aziraphale very seriously with a hint of disbelief.  

“It’s a baby Crowley, not a thing” 

“Okay so how come I come to visit you days before we move in together after you called me and the first thing you do is point me to this baby that I’ve never seen before?“ 

“It’s a Nephilim” 

“I know what it is! It’s not possible- it's hardly likely for a Nephilim to appear out of nowhere unannounced. Was this the big man upstairs’ fault?” 

“I suppose it materialised out of me” 

“Materialised?” 

“yes, I was trying the whole sleep thing you do and it just appeared- That’s the best way to describe how angels end up creating their offspring, it’s the only way I can see that happening since God creates angels not their offspring”

“Right- now we’ve established that it’s your thing, how’s that possible, considering where probably wasn’t a human- wait there wasn’t another person you’re seeing right? Behind my back?” 

“I’d never- you’re the only one I’ve been with, my dear” 

“Right so that means-“ 

“-That it’s also yours” 

“It’s not a Nephilim then, it’s a Cambion-“ 

“-Or it’s both”

“Half demon half angel? That’s not possible” 

“Anything is possible. It’s clearly a gift from God- or you know, Satan, or both” 

“What kind of a gift is a baby? no, no, no this is something much worse, this is something that shouldn't exist! this shouldn't be possible- it's never happened before!"*

“What are we going to call her?” 

“If you name it then you become attached to it” 

“It’s not an it! it’s our daughter, We’re supposed to look after her”

“I’m just pointing out we didn’t exactly plan this did we?” 

“It’s ours Crowley! You can’t be suggesting-” 

“I’m just saying it’s an option- if neither of us wanted it- not that I don’t want it-“ 

“We’re keeping it” 

“Okay, glad we’ve established that” 

“Any ideas for a name?” 

The demon rolled his eyes at his partner? boyfriend? Boyfriend sounded better, boyfriend’s insistence and although Aziraphale couldn’t actually see his eyes roll since he was wearing his sunglasses like always even in the darkness of the early morning, he felt him perform that action.

“Fine, we’ll call it Delilah” 

“That means delight or flirt I don’t think-” 

“She looks like a Delilah” 

There was a pause from Aziraphale and a small smile appeared on his face

“She does doesn’t she?” 

“We can call her Lila for short of it makes you feel better and you can pick the middle name” 

“Hmm... Delilah Eden”

“Eden?” 

“Well it’s where our friendship and now relationship started I suppose”

“I do like that. Delilah Eden Crowley” 

“Crowley?” 

“Well, you don’t exactly have a surname do you angel? Unless you want her to be called Delilah Feel which, would not be a good name for a kid. And if it’s down to us to look after this baby then she will need a surname to fit in with society” 

“No I don’t, angels don’t need surnames and neither do Demons but you make a good point, Crowley is a better sounding Surname for the baby”

The demon and the angel looked down at the cot with the Nephilim? Cambion? Half angel half demon thing settled inside sleeping peacefully. 

“Wait! If she’s a half Nephilim half Cambion then the big guy upstairs knows we’ve had sex- won’t you fall?” 

“I don’t think I will” 

“Because if you fall then it’ll be my fault and I don’t know if I could cope knowing-“

“Crowley, my dear, I won’t fall, I promise, I’ve got a feeling this was part of one of God’s plans besides they still haven't contacted us since- well, last time”

the pair glanced at the small baby as it squirmed and kicked in it's sleep, then looked at each other, and Crowley was the first to speak. 

"okay, fine, if you say so. raising a child,  it's not like we're raising the Anti-Christ"

"I mean, how hard can it be?"

"exactly! it's going to be a breeze! a walk in the park!" 

it was not, in fact a walk in the park. it was far, far, from it. 

* * *

*it had not happened before because, no angel and demon had been in love enough (or stupid enough in another point of view) to actually partake in human activities and listen to their feelings. Crowley and Aziraphale were the only demon and angel (much to the displeasure of their superior higher ups in heaven and hell) to ever partake in such a relationship.

 


	2. A Frosty Evening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being a teenager is hard. being a half demon- half angel teenager in a world full of humans is even tougher, especially when human teenagers don't understand the importance of equality.

**13 years later (well, almost):**

Frost had not melted away on the pavements and roads of Soho, London by five past four on Monday, the third of January in the year twenty-thirty-four. which was a fact that nobody could actually tell you that not completely out of the range of possibility, nobody was entirely sure why it was like that that particular day but it was. however what anyone with the right mind would definitely be able to tell you is that in this icy conditions on the road and pavement, you should not ride a bike in it, which was something that a twelve year old was currently doing.

Delilah Eden Crowley was pedalling as fast as she could down the darkening streets in Soho, in an attempt to get away from her pursuers. the reason why she was being pursued was of no fault of her own, or rather it possibly was, she wasn't entirely sure, you see, Delilah was seen as peculiar in the eyes of everyone at her school, well, almost everyone, there were a few teachers and students who actually liked her peculiarity and eagerness to learn. so of course, she was the subject of bullying, and whilst this mostly didn't bother her too badly, it was on this occasion that she'd decided to not ignore then and insult the leader of the bullies, Jerome Smithson, and call him a "good for nothing homophobic piece of shit" to his face after he had called her out for having two dads and that she was going to hell for it*. they'd given chase, getting on their bikes after her angered by her comment and so Delilah had ultimately, ridden for the safe haven of 'A.Z and Co bookshop' hoping knowing that literally nobody would be able to get in past closing time (with a few exceptions of course).

it was across the road from said safe haven that her bright blue bike had skidded on a piece of ice and flung her over the handlebars, her Harry Potter-esq glasses flying off her face and hit the ground with a crunch. damn it now her parents would definitely ask questions. Her elbow stung, clearly been grazed but it was nothing compared to what came next. kicks and punches from Jerome and his gang were what followed. at one point she got kicked on the nose so hard that a crack was heard and she felt wet coming out of it. after what seemed to be hours of beatings (it was only five minutes) Jerome had ordered everyone to stop and just told her to never answer back to him again then buggered off on his bike somewhere away from the shop starting she had learned her lesson*. standing up, a little disorientated, she picked up her miraculously unharmed bike and her smashed glasses, fixed them with the wave of her hand and limped across the road, parking her bike securely outside the shop, and entered. 

"hellooo? Anybody hooome?"

"Delilah! did you have a nice day at sch-" the book collector poked his head from round the back of the store "oh my! what happened?" 

"same old story" she said pinching her nose to stop the blood flow

Aziraphale lead Delilah to a seat round the back

"sit there and hold this to your nose" 

"can't you just miracle it or something?" she hissed as she placed the tissue to her nose 

"I will, after you've stopped bleeding"

"thanks pa" 

"you're welcome" 

"for somebody's sake, what  happened to you?" another voice said as Crowley, the demon appeared having come through the door seconds after Delilah had entered the shop. 

"fell over, then got beaten up by Jerome and his gang of arseholes" the girl replied sounding as if her nose was bunged up. 

The serpent raised an eyebrow 

"you look pretty badly beaten up there" 

"if you think I was bad, you should have seen the others"

"you're getting better at lying. I would have believed you had I not seen what actually happened"

 "thanks dad" 

"you shouldn't complement her on that Crowley" Aziraphale said "wait- you saw her get beaten up? and you didn't do anything?" 

"she could manage it herself" Crowley shrugged "see? she's stopped bleeding already" 

Aziraphale miracled away the cuts and bruises (and the broken nose) away with his hand and Delilah smiled at him as he sat down opposite her

"do you want to tell us what happened?" he asked calmly 

"they were insulting you and dad again so I stood up to them" 

"that's a good thing to do, stand up for yourself" he said

"I may have also said that he was a good for nothing homophobic piece of shit" she muttered

"pardon?" 

"I might have also told Jerome that he was a good for nothing homophobic piece of shit and that might have set him off on me"

there was laughing from the corner where Crowley was stood, he had not been able to hide his amusement at her comment and Aziraphale's look of dismay and had ultimately burst out into laughter. 

"it's not funny" 

"calling him out on his rubbish? oh come on Angel it's a little funny"

"well, at least we know where she got that bit of her personality from"

"can you two not start arguing?" 

"we weren't, don't worry, I knew you didn't just get everything from Aziraphale" Crowley ruffled his daughters hair before she smacked his hand away. 

"ah hello? Aziraphale! anyone in?" a voice called from the front of the bookshop interrupting the conversation*, Aziraphale poked his head out to front of the shop. 

"oh, Gabriel, it's been quite a while" he said "fourteen years"

"ah I think we need to leave round the back" Crowley muttered

"why?" 

"they don't exactly like me up there"

"well duh, you're a demon" 

"and they don't know about me and your pa's relationship" 

"oh"

"we know about the kid" they heard Gabriel say "and from that we all figured out who was likely to be the other person who created it, it was clearly the demon Crowley" 

"well it looks like they know" 

"fuck" Crowley cursed

"but that's not what I'm here to talk to you and Crowley about" they heard Gabriel continue sounding very bitter about the fact he had also been sent to talk to Crowley as well. 

"oh, what is it exactly?" 

"it's about the demon Lilith. she's got a plan that might ruin the ineffable one"

 "hold on one moment" 

Aziraphale entered the back room again and looked at Delilah, and let out a brief sigh of relief before his look turned apologetic 

"Delilah, my dear girl, you can go over to your friend Cyrus' house for a while if you want to"

"let me guess? you and dad have to talk about adult stuff?" 

"sorry" 

"it's okay I get it! I'll be back in time for dinner at seven thirty"*

she got up from her seat, gave her parents each a hug* and walked out to the front 

"see you, Gabriel"

the archangel looked very confused at how she knew exactly who he was when they'd never met as she passed him on the way out. it was a face that made Delilah laugh on her way out of the door, mounting her bike she set off carefully to see her best friend. but she couldn't help but be intrigued about who this Lilith was and what her plan was. it was no matter, she'd eventually find out anyway. her dad wasn't very good at keeping her in the dark for too long. 

* * *

* The joke was on him, there was a high chance she would actually end up in hell anyway because of 50% of her dna.

* She had in fact not learned her lesson and would do it multiple times over if it meant that nobody else ever got bullied at school and that the bullies would eventually get caught. 

* And ultimately saving Delilah from being grounded for the first time in her life by Aziraphale for provoking the bullies to act through her very unconventional way of sorting things out. (Although, this would have probably and swiftly been lifted by Crowley).

* Dinner, since Angels and Demons do not need to eat was just a habit Aziraphale had gotten into, a habit the half angel half demon had also gotten into to fit in. she liked food a lot.  

*  For those wondering, Aziraphale would naturally return every hug Delilah gave him, Crowley on the other hand, would just stand there awkwardly until it was over. 

 

        

     


	3. The Loser Troupe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A band of misfits get together and decide to do some snooping. meanwhile Aziraphale and Crowley receive a talk about what going on from the Archangel Gabriel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this chapter isn’t as good as the others (especially the bit with Delilah and her group of friends). I was struggling a bit. But also the group of friends in this are ones for making decisions quickly, being easily persuaded (which is probably Delilah’s ‘fatal flaw’). So maybe that could explain the awfulness of the first part.

Cyrus Black was Delilah's best friend and had been since they met in reception class*. He was also the son of their secondary school's head of Humanities. this was a fact that would not be important, unless, it followed his every waking existence, which unfortunately for Cyrus it did. Cyrus  was named Cyrus because of his dad's ever growing interest into the Achaemenid empire* and Tom Black had named him after Cyrus the Great, a man, in the bible actually were kind to the Jews and protected them. This was especially true in the fact that Cyrus had become the protector of the misfit gang known as 'The Loser Troupe'.

The Loser Troupe were a group of four teenagers, who formed because they felt that they just did not conform to any of the schools sense of the norm. The four members were, Cyrus, born on the 31st December 2020, seven days before Delilah, to Tom Black and a woman called Lily* who then buggered off twenty days later. he was deemed the group's 'strategist'. He was the only member who should have belonged to the 'popular' group at school and had lots of popular friends but he preferred to spend time with his actual friends. next was Ned Wilkins, the tech guy, born on the 19th May 2021, was named because he was born on the anniversary of the end of game of thrones and his parents were big fans of the show in it's prime. Ned was the type of boy who was the insufferable know it all and proud, which was why he never had any friends but it was also why he became a member of the group, they learned that it was all a mask to hide his worried like nature and they grew to like him. thirdly there was Dexter Jones, born on the first of March 2021, in Boston, USA, Dexter's family moved to London when he was eight. his family were very traditional and he just didn't fit in with tradition. he was the group carer (or the mum friend). lastly there was Delilah, 'the leader' who as you can probably guess fitted in perfectly, being the daughter of an angel and a demon* and her peculiar personality, being extremely obsessed with what would be deemed 'odd' for normal teenagers, stuff like plants and paintings and old books. she was also the only girl in the group. and when she arrived at the main rendezvous of the group in a tree-house at the back of Cyrus' house she was rather surprised to find them all scrambling to hide something fro her. 

"hi guys, what were you hiding?" 

"nothing!" Ned exclaimed 

"we weren't expecting you to be here for another half an hour" Dexter added

"no matter, we saved you a biscuit" Cyrus smiled at Delilah 

"is something the matter Lilia?" Dexter asked handing her the biscuit tin

"adult stuff" 

"oh"

"yeah something about some Lilith woman and a plan. I think it was bad but I left before another word was said"

"aren't you a little curious what it was about?" Cyrus asked  

"a little?"

"well then why don't we do some research?"

"research on what?" 

"what the plan could be, my dad said weird things have been happening ever since the week after i was born, around Soho and it all started when babies were being kidnapped after a woman called Lilith moved into the area then she left fourteen days later. there's a biblical figure called Lilith in religous texts who kidnapped children"

"you can't actually be suggesting, Cyrus, that there's a connection?" Ned said "the probability of that happening is like one in like six billion" 

"what you're suggesting is that biblical texts are real" Dexter said "which is poppycock"*

"Cyrus, I know you suspect that that Lilith person, that moved here then left again is the same person as the person they were talking about is your mum. but it's unlikely" Delilah said

"yeah but it's a theory" Cyrus said "and an interesting concept if you ask me, heaven and hell being real, i mean imagine if angels and demons were really here and just chilling amongst mere mortals" 

Delilah had to refrain from smiling at how right he was

"besides, Delilah, isn't it a little tempting to look into it just to be sure?"  

"I mean, looking into it wouldn't harm" Delilah shrugged

"why don't we talk about Delilah's painting entry into the competition instead?" Ned asked nervously

"haven't thought up of an idea for it. why? are you nervous about being caught?"

"n-no it's just- what if your parents get wind- and ground you and then tell ours and then we'll be grounded" 

"Ned, she's never been grounded, her pa is too much of a softy and her dad is too cool to ground her or tell our parents" Dexter reassured Ned, placing a hand on his shoulder that lingered for longer than it should have. 

"okay we won't do it today"  Delilah sighed "but we could plan it instead. if it makes you feel better Ned besides I've got to be back by seven thirty, we're going out to an Indian restaurant for dinner and I don't want to be late" 

"how are your parents so rich? last week they were dining at the Ritz to celebrate Christmas late" Dexter said 

"I don't know, it must be a miracle"  Delilah shrugged again "right, the plan, anyone got any paper?"

* * *

* * *

 The first time Crowley encountered the demon known as Lilith was six millennia ago in hell, just before he was sent up to the surface of the earth to wreck havoc. He immediately disliked her (to much seducing other men, or at that point in time, demons, for his liking) and did not encounter her again until the day of Delilah's birth. 

_6th january 2021, 10:25 am._

_Crowley was sat in a bar thinking the last seven hours over. he had not expected to ever become a- a **father.**  a human thing. he really should have been at the bookshop with Aziraphale, looking after the baby. but he had to think things over. it was too much of a shock,  i_ _t should not have been possible. But there it was, actual parenthood. He had responsibilities now and that was something demons did not do._

_“Well I never, Crawley? or isn't it Crowley now?”_

_He heard a voice, Female. he recognised it, despite only hearing it once over._

_He glanced up to see a face he hadn’t seen in centuries._

_“Lilith?”_

_“In the flesh”_

_The female demon sat down opposite him._

_“What are you doing here old friend?”_

_“Nothing” Crowley muttered “and we’re not friends, I don’t have friends”_

_“oh Don’t be like that Crowley”_

_“Oh I’m sorry where were my manors, what are you doing these days?” Crowley hissed bitterly her reputation preceeded her and he knew better than to fall in with the likes of her._

_“Oh this and that, seducing men mostly, there was one that actually got me pregnant and I gave birth to a baby boy about six days ago, couldn’t keep him of course, gave him to the father. His problem now, apparently he's called Cyrus, who knew that Tom Black was such a fan of the Persians”_

_“How nice” Crowley rolled his eyes_

_“word on the street is that you’ve been rather busy”_

_“Stopping Armageddon” he muttered taking a drink out of his bottle_

_“That’s not just what I’ve heard, your friend the angel has been busy too”_

_“Yes, also stopping Armageddon”_

_“I heard you’ve got a new addition on the block in Soho”_

_“Oh that” Crowley said “the big G said it’s supposed to happen”_

_“Since when do you listen to the big G?”_

_“I don’t. Aziraphale still does for some reason”_

_“Aziraphale? Oh the Angel! So it is true that you two are-“_

_“I never said that”_

_“You’re not denying it”_

_Crowley didn’t answer_

_“You know, I could do something about your problem” Lilith said crossing her leg over her knee._

_“Problem?”_

_“The responsibility problem”_

_“It’s not really a problem”_

_“I could take it off your hands from you” Lilith smiled wickedly “and it would be like the old times with you and Aziraphale”_

_“Demons can’t tempt other demons”_

_“It’s a favour. Besides I’ve been dying for another taste of baby flesh for centuries”_

_It then became clear to Crowley about what Lilith did after stealing the babies in the early centuries, the rumours were true, she ate them or just straight out killed them._

_“You’ll have up to fourteen days with her of course, give you time to say goodbye”_

_Crowley knew that what she was proposing was barbaric even for demon standards but he couldn’t help but inquire._

_“Why not pick another baby if you’re so hungry?”_

_“Your one is so special and well, I think the guy in charge has plans involving me and it but we can put a stop to this one of heavens plans early avoid another screw up”_

_“No”_

_“What?”_

_“Aziraphale won’t like it or let you take her”_

_“And you?”_

_In that moment Crowley realised that even though he had more responsibility he could not just take it away. He knew that he really actually did care for the surprise that had arrived an hour ago. In fact he realised he didn’t just care for it, he was feeling... love. Paternal love for that thing and he actually quite liked that._

_“I won’t either”_  

" _pity. i had such high hopes in you, Crowley, we could have been a team if you hadn't had been sent up to this mortal plain called earth and been corrupted"_

_"well, things change Lilith"_

_"not for demons they don't"  she laughed "I'll be seeing you around. oh and give the angel Aziraphale my congratulations"_

_with that, Lilith upped and left as did Crowley, minutes later, with a very bad feeling in his stomach._

_later that evening, Crowley convinced Aziraphale to ask for the amulet that protected children from Lilith and take her to his apartment for good measure. four houses down the street from the shop, a baby was reported missing._

Now, Crowley was listening to his boyfriend's boss, Gabriel, explain to the two of them that heaven needed their help. he could have laughed, they needed help.

"I presume you two are both familiar with Lilith" 

"well, I've never actually met her but Crowley has" 

"yes I have. we don't get on, nor do we trust each other" 

 "well, she's due to rise again, this time, her plan, we have reason to believe is to turn the mortal plain into a torture ground for demons, seducing all the men and preventing the ineffable plan"

"why do you care?" Crowley hissed out of habit "why come to us?"

"because!" Gabriel snapped "because, it is stopping the Almighty's ineffable plan, whatever the plan may be. and you two have, say, experience in the matter of stopping things"

"why not use it as an excuse for another war? I know Beelzebub certainly would love that" 

"because there isn't a scheduled war for this time in history"

"we'll think about it" 

"we'll be glad to help" Aziraphale said

"well that's that then, i trust you know where to start looking" 

Gabriel turned to leave before turning around 

"can I just say great job on the kid. she seems... well mannered, a perfect fit for heaven when she finally goes" 

"she won't be heading there anytime soon" Crowley called after him "I can guarantee that" 

the archangel left and Crowley immediately turned to Aziraphale 

"what did you do that for?" 

"oh I don't know Crowley" 

"we said we were going to not make any immediate decisions regarding our previous sides" 

"why are you so bitter around Gabriel?" 

"he tried to make you fall and now he's wanting Delilah to ascend tro heaven" 

"probably in about eighty years"

"why are you defending him?" 

"i'm not defending him Crowley, I'm thinking of the best future for our daughter-"

"so was I" 

"it didn't seem like it"

"you think Heaven is the best option for her?" 

"you think hell is any better?" 

"no, but Heaven doesn't care about anything"

"they clearly do care about something if they're willing to accept Delilah. you do need to think more about her and not yourself"

"I think about her"

"well, maybe you should try to think thoroughly about where you want her to end up. do you really want her to end up in the depths of hell? torturing people or worse, being tortured herself?"

"I was thinking about her by saying we'll think about it to Gabriel" 

Aziraphale looked at the clock, it read five past seven 

"Delilah will be home in a minute. may I suggest continue this discussion later?" 

"no I suggest we continue-" 

the door opened and in walked Delilah 

"I'm back" 

"did you have a nice time?" Aziraphale asked hiding the fact that Crowley and him had been in a middle of a fight

"yeah, but i'm dying for a chicken curry, can we go to the restaurant in the Bentley?"

"I suppose it won't be a problem, right dear" 

"not a problem. who knows, maybe I'll be teaching you how to drive it soon" Crowley added

"I'm thirteen dad- it'll be another four years before I even think about getting behind that wheel" Delilah pointed out completely oblivious to the tension between her parents "i'm just going to change and I'll be right back" 

"alright" Aziraphale smiled

Delilah ran in the direction of the shop where her room was with a skip in her step. she loved going out for family meals so much*.

Crowley looked at Aziraphale

"angel, I really-"

"Crowley, we said we'd pick this up later and that's what we'll do"

* * *

 

*For Americans and those reading who don't know what reception class is, it's basically the class children are put into in the UK at age 4-5. 

*The Achaemenid Empire was the first persian empire that ran from 550 BC–330 BC in which Cyrus the great was the founder of. Achaemenid Empire was what Persia was under during the Greco-Persian wars. 

* Yes, Lily is the demon Lilith. This is not important or a suprise in the narrative to the reader but it’s important for the characters since only a few people know he’s half demon (namely Aziraphale and Crowley)

*Nobody knows that Delilah is half angel, half demon. Not even her closest friends.

* Dexter first heard the phrase poppycock on tv (although nobody could remember what they were watching) and after asking what it meant, from that day on he just used it. The three other friends have found it too funny to correct him on the fact nobody uses that word anymore (except maybe Aziraphale). 

*It was a rare occurrence for Aziraphale and Crowley to actually go out for dinner whilst Delilah was home, let alone twice in two weeks.

 

          

 


	4. Odd Occurrences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Odd things start happening at Delilah's school and the Loser Troupe discover something terrible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, funny thing, having the realisation Cyrus Black is very similar to the name Sirius Black. I'm a massive Harry Potter fan but that was completely unintentional and a funny coincidence. Harry Potter is ingrained into my brain forever (not that I'm complaining)!

Dinner at the restaurant was horrible, not the food, of course, Delilah found her chicken korma very tasty and everything, no, what was horrible was the silence. Delilah wasn't stupid, like most adults forget, children are smarter than they seem, her parents had been fighting. the tension between them was horrible. also the fact Crowley was repeatedly stabbing his piece of chicken curry with a fork like a little child and Aziraphale wasn't even looking at the demon didn't help hide the fact that they had. 

"okay, what happened between you two?" 

"nothing" Aziraphale looked shocked at this "nothing at all" 

"oh okay, so dad just happens to have a vendetta against his chicken vindaloo"

"there's no need to use sarcasm" Aziraphale said "it's something that has to be left to me and you dad to sort out" 

"oh... okay"

There was no point in arguing. it would ruin the evening and she really didn't think her parents wanted an angry hormonal preteen on their hands tonight. they clearly had enough on their plate.

"is the Lilith person Gabriel was talking about the demon Lilith?" 

worth a shot, asking them outright. 

"honestly?" Aziraphale said 

"honestly" 

"yes, she is"

"what's she planning?"

"that, doesn't concern you" Crowley spoke up "it's for upstairs and down below to sort out" 

this was uncharacteristic of her dad. Crowley was usually on board with letting Delilah know what was going on in the worlds of demons and angels but now he was against it? why?

"maybe I could help?" 

"no it's far to dangerous"  Aziraphale said 

"I agree"

there was a pause and the angry tension between Aziraphale and Crowley disappeared*, united in keeping their daughter sheltered from the reality of the situation.

"I was just curious" she smiled "you two are talking" 

"you- you did that to get us to agree with each other?" 

Delilah shrugged 

"the mood was ruining the food" 

 Delilah took the last bite of her curry and put her fork on her plate

"so how's your planning for the arts competition going?" Aziraphale asked

"I keep changing my mind. I don't know whether to submit a painting or do a duet with Cyrus"

there were two things Delilah were exceptionally good at. Painting pictures and hitting high notes, for years she'd dabbled between the two, struggling to decide what she wanted to be good at, so when the competition at school came up she had the chance to do one of her favourite things. The Loser Troupe had been betting on what she'd chose, with Cyrus even offering to sing a duet with her if she did singing (and getting him to win the bet). it was tempting her to take him up on his offer, he had a particular way with tempting people and succeeding which she found odd and rather demonic, but then she did grow up around a demon so maybe she was just over thinking it.

"you could do both" Crowley pointed out

"that would be cheating" 

"nobody would know you submitted two"

"i'm not cheating" 

"goody-too-shoes" 

"are we going to do pudding?"

"you have chocolate from Christmas at home" Aziraphale said

"your dad and I have something to sort out"

"several things" Crowley muttered knowing what going home meant. the continuation of the argument. He flagged down the waiter for the bill. 

Delilah went to bed that night to the sound of her parents arguing in hushed voices. she never heard an apology from either side.

* * *

* * *

when Delilah went to school the next morning, her parents seemed to be back to normal, clearly having made up from whatever they were arguing about. but it didn't save her from lack of concentration in school. something had changed. she could sense it.

"something's changed" Cyrus said to her suddenly out of the blue at the start of their RE* class "something's off"

"I know what you mean. everyone is  in a horrible mood today, like everyone" 

this was true, when she'd walked (well, sauntered) through the doors with her friends the entire school had been arguing with each other, grumbling, or just being stand off ish. it was like something had turned sour in the area.

" it feels-"

"it feels- i don't know, in of evil like a demon has entered the school, you know in a figurative way" 

"nice analogy but i don't feel anything out of the ordinary" Ned said sarcastically to Cyrus

"me neither" Dexter said

Delilah looked at Cyrus, confused, how come everyone else didn't feel it? How could Cyrus sense it something and not be affected by the sourness? 

they were interrupted by the doors opening, with a bang. and in walked, with their head obscured from view not their usual RE teacher, Mrs Ryan. but a supply teacher, wearing really dirty clothes and sunglasses, and smelt awful, not that anyone noticed. Delilah knew this teacher from somewhere, she couldn't out her finger on it though. the teacher wiped the work set for today from the whiteboard.

"that's our work-" one student started to protest but after the teacher hissed at her she immediately stopped.

"Crowley and his sunglasses. have to wear those sunglasses Beelzebub said. it will stop students being suspicious he said" the teacher muttered as he scribbled some notes on the board.

Delilah recognised the symbols and the passages he was writing. they were demonic symbols. she also noticed that everyone had immediately started copying them down in perfect synchronised writing without being instructed. it was like- like a well  oiled machine. the longer she stared at the symbols on the board, it dawned on her the demonic symbols were ones of power. the ones capable of raising a strong demon. the teacher noticed that someone was not working and Delilah hid her head pretending to write, she glanced to her right, where she noticed Cyrus doing the same as her. satified that everyone was doing the demonic bidding, the teacher took off his glasses and snapped them in two. to reveal black eyes. his face was visible. the foul smell, it was poo. there was only one demon who smelt like poo with completely black eyes.

"Hastur" Cyrus muttered to himself

Delilah couldn't help herself and in her shock, glanced her head towards Cyrus a shocked expression on his face

"the duke of hell" she said in a low voice. 

this alerted Cyrus to the fact that she wasn't under the ‘spell’. 

"how- you're not half demon too are you?" he said quietly 

"you're a Cambion" 

"but you can't be- you're too good" 

Delilah looked at Cyrus

"Nephlim" he said as his eyes went wide 

"kind of both" 

"both? I call bulls-" 

"we can do this later" Delilah said "if Hastur is here then that means-" 

"-Hell is up to no good" 

"we need to stop it" 

"but how?"

"we need to get out of here first" 

"I have holy water in my bag, you just have to chuck it on him, whilst I grab Ned and Dexter and we make a break for it"

"no" 

"what? why not?" 

"there are other ways of distracting people" 

"it's Hastur, one of Dukes of hell" 

"we're not killing anyone, even if it is Hastur"

"ugh fine, what can you think of?" 

"hold on- why are you not aiding Hell if you're half demon" 

Cyrus shrugged.

"I'm chaotic good"

"lets just grab Ned and Dexter and make a break for it?" 

"where do we go?" 

"church across the road. it's consecrated ground- unless it'll effect you" 

"the human part cancelled that demonic part out"*

"good, so we're agreed"

"on three" 

"three" 

"two" 

"one" 

"go!" 

the pair got up,  to Hastur's disbelief.

"What? What!"

they made a grab for Dexter and Ned, pulling them up still in their dazed state and bolted towards the door

"oh no you don't" 

Hastur snapped his fingers effectively locking the door before reaching out and grabbing Delilah's hand hard, in an unbreakable grip

"hi Hastur, we haven't exactly met but I’m sure you know my parents" 

"it's locked!" Cyrus said

"yeah, thanks, captain obvious, miracle it open" 

"I can't do miracles" 

"what half demon can't do miracles?" 

"I got the shit part of the genetic lottery"

"for heaven's sake! just let me get free"

"how did you do that?" Hastur practically growled 

"not exactly human" Delilah said

he tightened his grip on the girl, before she remembered something her dad had said, that would shock (and possibly scare) him 

"Crowley says hi" she said

Hastur looked shocked at the girl and this moment of weakness (and stupidity) she  broke away snapped the door open with the click of her finger and the group ran to the school chapel, and as they ran, Delilah couldn't resist but shout.  

"See ya later sucker!"

 

* * *

*Although it was likely to come back after Delilah had gone to bed. 

*RE stands for Religious Education for those who don't know, and is a compulsory class in catholic schools. 

*When you're the son or daughter of a demon, it was a fifty fifty chance of what bits of your demonic parent was going to get and Cyrus literally only got his mothers ability to be extremely persuasive and exceptionally good at tempting people (he also was pretty good looking and charming in Delilah's opinion although she'd never admit that of course, she just assumed that he got that from his mother) along with the typical demon temper, whereas Delilah got Crowley's ability to perform miracles (although that is also part of Aziraphale so she could have gotten it from him) and Crowley's habit to hiss from time to time (she was actually quite thankful she inherited the rest from Aziraphale, she wasn't sure if she could cope with living with yellow snake eyes). 

 

  

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry, it wasn't very good chapter. I had no idea how to end it and I wasn't feeling well whilst writing it, but i swear the next chapter will be good (it delves a bit more into the past).


	5. The Holy Weapon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the past a young Delilah learns why demons can't go onto consecrated ground, whilst in the present day, she hides in a chapel in a school overrun by the forces of hell and decides to in act a plan to get down to the library and get the one thing that could help her parents stop whatever Lilith's plan is.

_It was a rainy Sunday night in October 2026, and Crowley was sat on the sofa in one of the back rooms of the bookshop, reading a book on how to care for different plants. not that he needed it of course, he found his method of plant care was much more effective and would work on any type of plant, he was just bored. He was just on the page about the Lilium* family when the space beside him dipped just a little and he felt something small in stature lean against him, he knew immediately what it was, his daughter, who was dressed in her pink and blue pyjamas, ready for bed. He wrapped an arm around the small being instinctively*, as she settled into him, and looked over at his book, curious to see what he was doing._

_"what are you reading daddy?"_

_"a book on plants"_

_"why? you just shout at them"_

_"doesn't mean I can't read it"_

_"oh"_

_there was a pause and a few moments of silence before the girl spoke again_

_"daddy?"_

_"what?"_

_"why don't you go to church with me and papa?"_

_Crowley was suprised to hear that question, and he didn't quite know how to answer it. Aziraphale was the one who answered her questions, not him_

_"why don't you ask your pa about that?"_

_"but I'm asking you"_

_"he's better at answering questions"_

_"please?"_

_"okay, demons can't exactly go into churches because it hurts them to do so"_

_"oh" Delilah asked "what happens if you do go in?"_

_"I'll spontaneously combust" Crowley said momentarily forgetting that his daughter was five and couldn't appreciate morbid humor yet_

_"what does that mean?"_

_"instantly burst into flames"_

_Delilah_ _pulled away from him, and Crowley was surprised at his daughter's sudden movement, he looked at her, she looked at him, and immediately burst into tears._

_"don't cry! oh for somebody's sake! stop crying" Crowley said "that's not what happens, I don't actually know what happens if I'm in there too long, I'd probably just collapse unconscious and not wake up"_

_that made Delilah howl and cry harder._

_“What’s going on?”_ _Crowley looked over to the door of the room where, Aziraphale was stood looking quite alarmed at the amount of tears coming out of the little girl._

_“I just made a slight joke about spontaneous combustion and that upset her a little”_

_“Crowley, she’s five”_

_“I momentarily forgot who I was talking to”_

_Aziraphale placed the books he was carrying down on a shelf and wandered over to the pair of them, crouching down to the crying five year old_

_“daddy- daddy said- said if he went into a church he’d die” she sobbed “I DON'T WANT DADDY TO DIE!”_

_“He didn’t really mean it, Delilah, your dad was just being very very silly”_

_“but-but what if it’s true?”_

_"It's not, what happens is that he just gets a feeling like he's walking on a beach that has really hot sand. it causes him to hop around like mad"_

_Delilah glanced at Aziraphale and then at Crowley who nodded slightly at her in agreement._

_"would it make you feel better if you settled into bed and I read you a nice story?" Aziraphale asked the girl who sniffed and nodded whilst wiping her snotty nose on her sleeve, and reached out to him as if she wanted to be picked up, Aziraphale smiled warmly at her "come on then"  he said as he picked her up in his arms and started to carry her in the direction of her room._

_"night Lila"  Crowley said with a little bit of regret in his voice_

_"night daddy"  she muttered in reply and buried her head, sleepily, in Aziraphale's shoulder._

_Aziraphale came back to where Crowley was sat, wallowing in his mistake, twenty minutes later and sat down next to him with a bit of a sigh of exhaustion._

_"she was out like a light"_

_"I'm not cut out for parenting"_

_"oh Crowley, don't say that, you just made one mistake"_

_"no parent upsets their child like that"_

_"you just need to remember that she's still very little and that it's not like you're raising the potential Anti-Christ"_

_"you saw how she muttered goodnight to me. she hates me."_

_"no she doesn't, she loves you a lot. she's just scared of losing you"  Aziraphale smiled reassuringly at the demon "of losing both of us, actually"_

_"she told you that?"_

_"she did"_

_"well that's preposterous, we won't just abandon her, what does she think we are? human?"_

_"it's a perfectly valid fear for a five year old to have, Crowley, it just proves that she loves you more than anything"_

_"and you"_

_"and me"_

_"well, I suppose I've got to make it up to her tomorrow"_

_"I think you were already forgiven"  Aziraphale said snuggling into Crowley on the sofa "she's not one to hold grudges. she'll be talking properly to you again by tomorrow morning"_

_And like almost always, Aziraphale was correct, come Monday morning, Delilah was talking to Crowley like normal and you wouldn't have known that something had happened. well apart from the fact that every time they passed a church, she'd cling to Crowley like he was going to disappear in an instant. he didn't mind though, to him, it only proved she loved him more more than anything._

* * *

* * *

Currently, Delilah was in a bad situation, she was stuck, pacing back and forth in the wooden chapel of a school over run with the forces of hell, with no chance of escaping anytime soon. at least she wasn't alone in this situation, she had her three friends with her, granted, two of which had no idea what was going on and the third was a half demon who was looking rather uncomfortable about being sat under the crucifix of Jesus*, but the fact she wasn't on her own made her feel a little better about the situation. 

"is somebody going to explain what the hell is going on?" Ned asked in his usual anxious state having snapped out of the trance along with Dexter as soon as they left the classroom 

"well it all started on the night of the sixth of January almost thirteen years ago-" Delilah said but upon noticing Cyrus' eye roll at her explanation "oh, you meant just now? long story short, demons are over running the school and they're controlling everyone in it through demonic persuasion"

"how come we weren't effected? why are we in a chapel?" Dexter asked 

"demons can't enter consecrated ground" Delilah pointed out "well actually they can, but it's generally a bad idea" 

"so how are we going to get out?" 

"we're not. not without the flaming sword" Cyrus spoke up from the pew he was sitting in, the three of the looked at him, Delilah was surprised at the fact he knew there was a flaming sword and wandered how he could known of it's existence. 

"flaming sword? there's a real flaming sword? you're joking" Dexter laughed

"oh it's a real thing. it belonged to the angel in the garden of Eden, well until he gave it away of course" Delilah said "but it should be with the objects of the four horsemen, that's where it last went"

Cyrus shook his head 

"I know for a fact that the sword in the glass casing in the library is the flaming sword just unlit*" he said "my dad said so. my mum told him her weakness and if it really is my mum who's causing this like our theory suggested then that's her only weakness"*

"we were correct. my parents told me but they didn't tell me her plan" 

"then we don't need to do any research. we just need that sword" 

Delilah nodded in agreement before turning to her other friends in a moment of genius 

"Ned do you have that tracking software on your phone?"

"the security sector software? yeah"

Ned, may be a nervous wreck with anger issues but he was incredibly useful sometimes and this one was one of those times, you see Ned was very computer smart and had been developing a CCTV software for phones that would ring the person on your emergency contacts if something goes wrong* and had been for two years now, it was still a prototype app at this stage but was good enough to act as a look out for any demons whilst the others get the sword.    

"great, log on to that and you can be our security man, look out, whatever you call it whilst Cyrus and I get the sword" 

Ned looked sceptical before pulling out his phone, signing in and running the software.

"okay it's going, just need to add you to my emergency contact and then it'll work"

"what am I going to do?" Dexter asked 

"care for Ned, be on defense, don't let anyone in here" Delilah replied throwing her rucksack onto her back and putting her phone in her pocket, Dexter looked at Ned who was watching the screen of his phone.

"I'd throw myself under a bus to keep him safe, you can count on me" 

"you're being dramatic" Delilah said "barricade the door whilst we're gone"

"right we're all set" Cyrus said getting up "ready Lila? you sure your good nature can cope with stealing a sword?" 

"bitch, I steal things for breakfast" Delilah replied "figuratively, not literally, my pa would kill me if I did that" 

"remember if anything goes wrong, Delilah's phone will vibrate in a pattern of four rings" Ned reminded them 

"on it" 

"ready angel?" 

"I'm not an angel, Cyrus"

"let's go"

Delilah and Cyrus hurried to the door took a deep breath and pushed open the door. mission: get flaming sword was a go. Delilah just hoped everything would go smoothly. but knowing her track record, nothing was ever smooth. 

* * *

 

*more commonly known as the Lily. 

*Crowley didn't often show affection, or didn't like it when others showed it towards him but he really couldn't deny his five year old half demon, a cuddle when she wanted one. but that was only because of her age, if she was a few years older he'd not done this. 

*half demons didn't get hurt by consecrated ground but would feel anxious in the place instead. this did not effect Delilah as much as Cyrus since she was also part angel and he was pure half demon. 

*this was where the sword ended up after Aziraphale sent it away in a parcel after the apocalypse-that-was-not, it ended up being hidden in plain sight but why it was in a school was beyond anyone's guess.

*Tom had told his son all about the biblical knowledge he had learned in the process of being seduced by Lilith, but there were a few gaps he didn't know like how the sword ended up at the school or even about the almost-pocalypse even happening, or even the fact that his best friend's parents were in fact said angel and the actual serpent that tempted Adam and Eve.

*this was a prototype so obviously this wasn't the best method of alerting people and Ned was in the process of rectifying this and making it better.  


	6. The plan in motion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley and Aziraphale discover a few more prophecies from Agnes Nutter that weren't burned. Delilah and Cyrus sneak into the library and steal the flaming sword.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before we go on with the chapter i made a few changes to the dates in the early chapters (the first two) since i did my maths wrong (I'm awful at it) and realised twelve days since Christmas is the sixth of January, it makes this chapter make a bit more sense.

Crowley woke up from his nap to the sound of Aziraphale hurrying around the bookshop, lifting up papers, muttering things like "no, where is it?" and "where on earth did I put it?". 

"what are you looking for angel?" he yawned

Aziraphale jumped and spun around in the direction of the serpent. momentarily shocked at his ability to walk incredibly silently.   

"Crowley! you gave me quite a surprise, did you have a nice sleep?" 

"I did. what have you lost that's so important?" 

"a book" 

"a book?" 

"a red book, with some very important notes in it" 

"I could help you look if it's important" 

"you would?" Aziraphale asked surprised

"why wouldn't I?" 

"you were against me helping Gabriel" 

"and now I'm not"  

"are you sure you had it in the bookshop?" 

"of course! where else would it be?" 

"you could have left it in the Bentley" 

"I wouldn't have left it in the car"

Aziraphale was looking for a very important book, one that could aid with their research in how to stop Lilith. 

"could have turned into a Best of Queen tape" 

"stop joking and help me look!" 

"why's it so important anyway? why does it have to be that specific book?" 

"it's got some very important stuff in that Anathema gave me last time we visited Tadfield"  

"did you say it was a red book?"

"yes"

"does it have gold angel wings printed on it?"

"yes"

"it wouldn't be the same book on the front desk of the shop would it?"

Aziraphale turned around to where Crowley was looking to with a rather amused expression on his face. 

"that's it!" 

he hurried over and picked up the book he was looking for, and walked back to the demon, flicking through the pages of the book. 

"you, Crowley, are amazing at finding things, have I mentioned that?"

"not for a while, what are you looking for in it?"

"this, a prophecy written by Agnes Nutter, several actually, depicting the events to come"

"i thought Newton and Anathema burned all her prophecies"

"Anathema kept some of them, just the ones she thought would be important and she gave them to me" 

"'Come the eve of the twelfth night, the flower of rebirth shall rise upon the fields of crickets of the place of apocalypse averted, yet fall against the temptress with sword of flame?' what the hell does that mean?"

"Anathema translated it luckily, see- eve of the twelfth night- twelfth night of Christmas, sixth of January, or rather of January, flower of rebirth, that's a Lily, shall rise upon the field of crickets- cricket field, the last bit she couldn't decipher"

"sword of flame? that's pretty obvious isn't it" 

"yes but who's the temptress?" 

"Madame Tracy? isn't that part of what she did?"

"well i'm not sure actually but i doubt it's talking about her" 

"is there anything else? about where it's going to take place?" 

"well, my best guess is Tadfield" 

"apocalypse averted, that's probably Tadfield cricket field"

"right so at least we know where it is" 

"what other prophecies did Anathema give you, it could give us more information"  

 "have a look" 

Crowley and Aziraphale continued their search, completely unaware of  the woman coming into the closed shop. with the intention of not buying a book...

* * *

* * *

"So, what's the plan?" Cyrus asked Delilah as they crept down the numerous corridors of the school in an attempt to the library unseen. 

"I don't exactly have one" 

"so we're winging it?" 

"pretty much, yeah" 

Cyrus didn't say anything but his eyebrows frowned in what Delilah thought was determination and suddenly her thoughts flipped to 'did he always look that cute when he's like that?'. she shook her head, pushing that traitorous thought to the back of her mind. she could not be thinking about her best friend like that. not when she had other things to think about. 

"what did you mean you're both?" he spoke 

"huh?" 

"you said you were both part angel and demon, but that's not possible" 

"not if your parents are a demon and angel" 

"so was your mum an angel or your dad?"

"my dad's the serpent that tempted Adam and Eve and my pa is the angel who guarded the garden of Eden"

"so that story of your aunt Delilah being a surrogate mum to her brother wasn't true?" 

that was the 'official' story of her birth. that her dad and pa wanted kids and her pa's (completely fabricated) sister had offered to be a surrogate, she died giving birth to the baby and Delilah was given the name of her biological mother. It just helped to explain how it was possible for Delilah to look like a mix of Aziraphale and Crowley. 

"no- it was way easier to lie than to just stroll up to people and explain that you materialised out of your pa's body one night without them even knowing and explaining the fact that they weren't human"

"you lied to me" 

"you lied to me as well. your mum is the first humans to be turned into a demon"

"I don't know if I can trust you anymore"

"what do you mean you can't trust me?"

"you're half angel"

"and half demon" 

"doesn't make a difference" 

"yes it does" 

"heaven are trying to stop mum's plan from happening, I should be on hell's side and yet I'm helping you because we have friends we want to protect. we should be on opposing sides"

"there are no sides" Delilah practically hissed*

"don't hiss at me" 

"sorry" 

Cyrus peered round the corner across from the library before poking his head back behind the wall 

"it's being guarded" 

"no shit" 

"I've still got that holy water?" 

"we're not killing _anyone_ " 

 "you really believe in that don't you? that you could get away from this without killing any demon"

 "yes. how good are you at Temptations?"

"well, I don't like to brag but I'd say I'm exceptionally good" 

"good. now get out there and tempt those demons whilst I sneak into the library unseen"

"why don't I do the sneaking?" 

"they know you're half demon. they know I'm half angel, they'll be less likely to catch on" 

 "ugh fine, why are you so good at persuasion?" 

"one of my demonic traits" 

Cyrus sighed, and mentally prepared himself to attempt at tempting, but just as he was about to step out of the safety of the corner Delilah grabbed his hand pulling him back, which caused his head to snap towards her, Cyrus could feel heat rising in his cheeks and it was too quick for him to hide it*.

"good luck" 

Delilah smiled at him and he smiled back, before they both realised that they were still holding hands, Cyrus cleared his throat and pulled away. 

"yeah, it's not like I need it but thanks, good luck to you too"

he stepped out and made his way to the demons 

"hey guys, come have a look what I found"

whilst they were being distracted, Delilah got into the library surprisingly easily, and was immediately faced with a multitude of books. and in the center in all,  it's glory, gleaming in the sunlight was the sword. in a display case. with tiny alarms on the glass.

"oh boy"

Delilah suddenly remembered that Ned's software had a bug in it, that allowed alarms to be bypassed with a simple hack. no, that would take to long to hack into. there was only one other option. a miracle. she'd never performed a miracle of this scale before* but how hard could it be? she rubbed her hands together before clicking her fingers, with little effort, it disabled the alarms and the case swung open. she reached out and grabbed the sword, as soon as she did, it lit up in flame. 

"wow"

she was about to leave when, something caught her eye. a note on the table addressed to her. she read it. 

"Lilith... has a celestial revolver" her eyes scanned the page

her eyes flew down the page

"come and see what it could do... I'll always be one step ahead of those on the heavenly side... serves them right for interfering..." 

 "well, um we may be in a bit of trouble" Cyrus said running into the library

"what do you mean?" 

"got a call from Ned, Hastur may have informed Lilith and Beelzebub and long story short demons are hunting us we have to leave the school, Ned and Dexter are waiting for us... Delilah?" 

"we need to go. NOW!"  

 Delilah booked it out of the library fire escape. her heart pounding, onto her bike, riding off towards the bookshop, whilst simultaneously unsuccessfully ringing Aziraphale's phone, praying to god that what she read in the note wasn't what she thought it was and that the demon had been lying... that had to be the case. 

* * *

* * *

*A habit that only happens when she was angry or anxious, and make no mistake, Delilah was incredibly anxious about getting caught and couldn't help there was something about to go wrong.

* Cyrus had had a crush on Delilah for eight years straight, and was usually very good at hiding it but it also meant that he could be rather blunt towards her. however, occasionally he could not hide it from her like right now (thankfully for him, she's completely oblivious to it when it does slip out).

*The only miracles she'd ever performed had been on fixing her glasses, and she honestly didn't think she was capable of much else.    

 


	7. The Beginning of the End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Delilah discovers something that makes her face her moral code.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short chapter and very very brief in description of the events but it's like that for a reason you'll find out later.

The weather could only be described as apocalyptic as the four bikes cycled down the streets of Soho. It was extreme ice rain and verging on tornado like winds but regardless, Delilah cycled back home and she cycled hard. What she had read in that note couldn’t possibly be true. It had to be a lie. That’s what demons do, wasn’t it? Lie? Her mind circled back to the previous night. Her parents had practically told her not to stick her nose in and what did she do? Stick her nose in. This couldn’t have happened. She had no idea what she’d do if it had. 

Her friends were struggling to keep up.

“Delilah! Wait! Hold up!”

She ignored them. As soon as they got to the shop she noticed the sign was on closed. That was a bad sign (pun not intended) it was never shut at this time of day. She got off her bike and pushedopen the door. What she saw was unbelievable.

* * *

* * *

**65 minutes earlier.**

Aziraphale and Crowley had been studying the prophecies for over an hour. There were several alluding to a temptress or seductress but no leads as to who she was. There was even one that mentioned flirting with death. After a few minutes more Aziraphale sighed and got up, taking the red book with him*

“I’m going to get us some more hot chocolate, or maybe there’s something stronger you’d prefer?”

“Don’t mind”

“I’m sure we have some scotch or something” he said “I should also check round the bookshop”

Crowley nodded and Azirphale left. Moments later Crowley heard talking and went up to see what was going on, it was probably a customer wanting to buy something.

“Get out of my shop. Please, leave. you don't need to be here”

“Well I can guess that you certainly don’t know who I am. Or perhaps you don’t recognise me it’s been six millennia” she laughed

"I know fully well who you are, I don't want you in my shop"

Crowley recognised that laugh  and as he stepped forward into the light of the bookshop he could clearly see who it was. Black curly hair, pale yellow eyes, a red dress and evil smirk.

“Lilith” Crowley hissed

“Oh hello Crawley”

“Lilith?” Aziraphale said looking at Crowley with a surprised look on his face “you-you know Lilith?”

“We’ve met once or twice”

“Oh come on Crowley we were practically soulmates before you turned up on the surface of this miserable plain”

“No we weren’t” Crowley looked at her harshly “what are you doing?”

“You need to join us and I need to break my destroyer’s spirit”

“What the- what do you mean?”

“The person who is supposed to fight me on the battlefield. I need to break her. So I win. So naturally I came here to do that”

“Crowley?” Aziraphale suddenly looked very worried and Crowley realised Lilith had pulled out a gun. Not just any gun. The celestial gun*. And she was pointing it at Azirphale.

“No” Crowley said “don’t hurt him”

“Join me and I won’t”

“I’ll do anything. Please just don’t- I-can’t lose him”

“To late”

She fired the gun. There was a loud bang.

“Aziraphale! Azirphale!” Crowley practically screamed as the angel hit the floor. He ran to his side shaking him, his body remained unharmed but practically soulless. Aziraphale had been separated from his body. Crowley was defeated. He’d lost Aziraphale again.

“Join us”

“No- no not after what you’ve done”

“Join us or your daughter will be next”

“You’re bluffing”

“Am I?”

“Yes”

“Well then. such a pity”

Lilith fired the gun again and Crowley welcomed it.

* * *

* * *

 

The sight that Delilah opened the door too was unimaginable. Crowley and Aziraphale laying side by side, practically Wrapped in each other’s arms on the floor of the bookshop. Their bodies still. Delilah blinked, before, stumbling forwards into the shop and falling besides them.

“Dad?” She shook Crowley “pa?” She did the same to Aziraphale. “No! Please! Don’t be gone! Don’t do this to me!”

Her worst nightmare had come true. Her parents had abandoned her,and, and- it was her fault. If she hadn’t have pried into this stupid plan. If she’d just dropped it like she was supposed to then they be here.

“Delilah” Cyrus said from behind her “they’ll be able to get back”

“They weren’t discorporated. Their bodies are still here. They’re just gone.” Delilah said “I-I don’t know if they’ll ever-“

“Well in that case we just get them a bit comfier. When they do come back” Cyrus said “Dexter, Ned help me with Crowley and Aziraphale”

The friends pulled Delilah gently away from her parents and moved them elsewhere, but Delilah was not paying any attention, she was wallowing in sadness, in pain, in anger. She felt the anger over take her. It was all her fault. No. This wasn’t her fault. Well, maybe it partly was. It was that demons fault. It was Lilith who killed them. Not her. Delilah stood up, she was seeing red.

“Hey Delilah, what’s this?”

Cyrus was holding a prophecy he'd found on the coffee table in the back room they'd placed the bodies in. The prophecy that proves everything to be correct. The prophecy that Crowley and Aziraphale had made notes on.

“It’s about you” he said “Temptress? Seductress? Flirt with death?”

“I am having a goddamn moment!” Delilah said

“What was your name meaning again?”

“Cyrus!”

“Sorry, it’s just seems kind of important”

“For heavens sake!” Delilah exclaimed “Delilah- it’s Hebrew and it means ‘seductive’ or ‘Delight’ or ‘flirt’ take your bloody pick, In the Old Testament it’s the name of the woman who tempted and seduced Samson into giving her the secret of his strength, I don’t know my dad picked it because he liked it”

“Well it’s clearly talking about you. Temptress, seductresses, flirt. It’s your name meaning”

He was right*. Delilah knew what she was supposed to do. She was supposed to stop Lilith. And she knew how she was going to stop her.

Stepping out of the bookstore, her friends followed her.

“Lila! What are you going to do? We should call an ambulance!” Dexter yelled after them

“They’re not human. It’s risky. And I’m going to stop Lilith”

“How?”

and in that one second, something happened to Delilah, in her mind, the thoughts of a peace and tranquility in her life soured, and were replaced with thoughts of what she envisioned Lilith to look like and her, red surrounding the image. and she said something she never thought she'd say in her entire lifetime*.  

“I’m going to kill her”

* * *

 *Despite being one of the 'popular' teenagers and regarding himself as 'cool', Cyrus could memorize stories from the bible thanks to his dad's retelling of them every single day. Cyrus' extensive knowledge of biblical stories had allowed him to make the connection instantaneously. 

*However long that would actually be. 


	8. The Anger of Demons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Delilah broken and hell bent on murder is never a good thing to see.

Delilah kicked a can of seven up into the road as she walked,down the streets away from the shop, the can flung out into the road and crunched under the wheel of a car. She'd always imagined what it would be like to lose parents, not because she wanted them to disappear of course, it was more of a fear, rooted in her from childhood and now that that fear had come true, she was surprised at what she felt. anger, not sadness, that was bound to come later, pure, built up rage and it honestly scared her. 

"Delilah hold up!" Ned yelled over the roads that signalled three o'clock and the school run. 

"Stop following me, you don't have any roll to play in this!" 

"you can't just go around killing people!" Dexter exclaimed "I-It's not right- you said so yourself" 

Delilah turned around on her heal, to face her friends, anger was evident but to her friends surprise (and terror) it was the worst anger, calm anger.    

"Why can't I? It's what Lilith has been doing- She's practically killed my parents, Eye for an eye"

"it's not you" Cyrus said surprisingly calm for this situation, he may be a  bit of an arsehole sometimes towards her because of his goddamn crush, but he was still her best friend and he'd dealt with Delilah's fits of anger before*, and even though it was a completely different type of anger, Delilah was still Delilah and that meant remaining calm to help her out and talking her through it. "none of this is you"

Delilah wasn't listening, she didn't care if it wasn't her anymore, she was different, changed, and she was either going to kill Lilith or die trying. no matter what her friends said.

"I want to kill her and I will do" 

"would your parents want this? think, what would Aziraphale and Crowley think of this?" 

oh low blow.  

"dad wouldn't give a crap about what I did- he never did!"*

"Aziraphale then? what would he think?" 

Delilah did not answer that question, she was silently eyeing Cyrus' rucksack, with a look as if she was thinking of something terrible and they both could take a wild guess at what was going to come next. It was an inevitable one.

"Cyrus, do you still have that holy water on you?" 

Cyrus knew that it was a bad idea to give her holy water, especially when they didn't quite know the effects on half demons*, and  _especially_ when she was being like this. Delilah strode up to him, fists clenched, and glared at him with a dead, cold look in her eyes. Delilah may have been both half demon and half angel and therefore theoretically more powerful than anyone  in the group, and whilst Cyrus was all for killing people via holy water and enjoyed minuscule bits of violence, he was not about to give in and give her a potential suicide pill or murder weapon.    

"I'm not going to answer that" 

"give it to me" 

"no" 

"I'm sorry?" 

"you're not having it" 

"I SAID GIVE IT HERE!"" 

"AND I SAID NO!"

Delilah hissed at him and angrily turned away, aiming to storm away from the group, but Cyrus grabbed her shoulder pulling her back to face him. 

"don't hiss at me" he said sternly "I don't really do the whole 'talking sense into other people' thing but you're my best friend and I don't want you on a one way ticket to hell, so I'm making an exception"

Delilah tried to shake her shoulder away from his grasp but that only made him hold her tighter, doing the opposite effect that she had intended she let out another hiss of annoyance and anger. 

"I know that you're hurting right now but you're being irrational-" 

"irrational? I lost my FUCKING parents!" 

" when you come down from the rage and found that you've hurt someone or worse, do you really want to have that blood on your hands?" 

"you're just saying that because she's your-" 

" I don't give a shit whether she's my mother or not, she ditched me with my dad when I wasn't even a day old, remember?" Cyrus said "now answer me! Do you want that? do you really really want somebody's life on your conscience?" 

Delilah blinked a few times, realising what was going on, what she had been saying and threatening, suddenly the depression part of grief hit her as she slumped forwards into Cyrus and broke down. 

"oh god, I-I- I'm sorry, I did this, They're gone because of me- Cy- I don't know what I'm going to do-I-"

"I know, I know, Lila, I know" he held her tightly 

"what do we do now?" Ned asked "what are we going to do?"

"I have an idea" Cyrus said softly but with enough certainty to let the others know the plan, he handed Dexter his phone

"what am I supposed to do?" 

"ring my dad and get us to pick us up" 

"what use would that do? you saw what happened last time adults were involved" Ned pointed out "Delilah's parents died" 

"they aren't dead, just separated from their bodies"

"my dad could have some more information that could help us, so that's where we're going"

Dexter swiped the phone and unlocked it and pressed the emergency contact known as 'dad' and put it to his ear

"hello? Mr Black? it's Dexter Jones here" he began looking at Delilah and Cyrus "yeah, we need some help"   

* * *

*He was often acted as someone Delilah could vent to if she was upset and vice versa.

*That was not true, Crowley did care about what Delilah did, of course did, he’s her dad after all, he was just way more lenient than Aziraphale, which ultimately caused Delilah to believe that he didn’t care.

*Because of course he's never experimented with it before so Cyrus wasn't entirely sure whether the other human half (or in Delilah's case angel half) would cancel it out or not.


	9. The Return of Odd Weather (or the Tadfield Interlude)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> meanwhile, in Tadfield...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the rubbish writing in this and the shortness of this one, I was suffering from a bit of writers block... next chapter is going to be considerably better.

In the Oxfordshire village of Tadfield, Adam Young was staring out of the kitchen window, he usually did this when he was making dinner or drinks or something but this time was different. he somehow found himself reflecting on life after discovering he was the Anti-Christ and stopping the apocalypse at age eleven and how good and peaceful it had gotten.

He'd gotten through secondary school with average grades, gotten a nice job, bought a house in Tadfield (it remained his stomping ground after all of these years later) and married one of his childhood friends, Pepper, which was a surprise to everyone considering she was probably the least likely girl they knew to get married. The Them has also changed in many ways, for one, Brian and Wensleydale had moved away with their new families soon after Pepper and Adam's wedding but of course they didn't lose contact. The Them were always going to be around until the end times. speaking of Adam and Pepper's wedding, it was a nice summer day two years ago, the sun was shining for most of it, (of course it wouldn't be a British summer with a few showers of rain), but ultimately everyone in Tadfield had forgotten about the events of summer 2019.  well apart from Adam. and Pepper, Brian, Wensleydale, Anathema and Newt (to some extent) and even some of those outside of Tadfield remembered, namely Aziraphale and Crowley, his godparents, technically, not officially. Aziraphale and Crowley had been there for him through the difficult teenage years with stuff his parents couldn't handle and he regarded them as family, especially after Delilah was born when he was fifteen. Delilah was like a little sister to Adam (of course he had an older sister, Sarah*, but nothing compared to a younger sibling) and Adam was happy to help her out with stuff her parents couldn't. He wondered what Aziraphale, Crowley and Delilah were doing now, it was high time he visited London, and Delilah's birthday was in a couple of days, maybe he could convince Pepper to take the journey down and visit them at the weekend.

It was then that Adam noticed, that the sky had taken a turn for grey storm clouds, and he felt a feeling of dread. but he didn't have time to dwell on it as Pepper had called into the kitchen. 

"Adam? have you forgotten to bring the drinks out?" 

Adam snapped out of his thoughts and suddenly realised that the drinks he had been sent out to make and hadn't had a chance to were there, on a tray on the kitchen table, steaming and ready to go. weird, that hadn't happened since- well since he was eleven. eh, he wasn't to worried, maybe he'd forgotten that he'd already made it. he picked up the mugs and walked into the living room, with the tray of five drinks for him, Pepper and their three guests. 

The three guests were the Pulsifers, who had been invited round by Pepper since they hadn't had a chance to see each other before new years. Newton Pulsifier and Anathema Pulsifer (nee; Device) were now in their early thirties, and had known Pepper and Adam since they were eleven and the almost Apocalypse, Newton and Anathema had moved to Tadfield and into Jasmine Cottage officially two months after said apocalypse was averted and had been married very soon after (mostly to do with the fact that Anathema discovered she was pregnant and Newton being Newton, obviously proposed, but he claims it was just odd coincidences and timing). They'd had a daughter nine months later, who was now thirteen, and sitting on her new game device, trying to get the cartridge of a game to work*. her name was Agnes Pulsifer,  the great granddaughter* of Agnes Nutter, Witch, and Thou-Shalt-Not-Commit- Adultery Pulsifer, witch finder major. Agnes had her mother's hair colour and skin and her father's eyes, she'd also somehow inherited curly hair (most likely from Agnes' side of the family). she had smiled politely as Adam handed her the cup of hot chocolate. 

"as i was saying, weather's gone miserable again" Adam said 

"that's British weather for this time of year" Newton said "but yes it's been full of unusual weather patterns recently" 

"nostly it's ice rain and tornado strong winds" Adam said 

"it's definiateltyy pointing to another apocalypse?" Anathema said

Adam, Pepper, Brian, Wensleydale  Newt and Anathema had been keeping an eye on things in Tadfield ever since the whether started playing up, three weeks ago but unfortunately Brain and Wensleydale could not attend the meeting as their work and families had to come first. but it was becoming more and more likely that another event is happening or going to happen. 

"maybe" Adam smiled 

"weird things have been happening though you know, your dad's car got swept away in the wind to days ago" Pepper pointed out

there was a pause in the conversation before Pepper spoke up "but it's probably nothing compared to the time Adam told of Satan" 

"what? how can your remember that? i wiped everyone's memories of that" Adam asked

"oh i remember, Newt and I stopped nuclear destruction" 

"thanks to being horrible at computers" 

"if you guys remember then that means"

"Adam's powers could be coming back" 

"well i definately did not make these drinks I would have remembered" 

"has anything else odd happened?" Anathema asked 

"not that I know of" Adam said

"if your powers are coming back then it's definitely an apocalypse or something similar" the thirteen year old spoke up "you should talk to Aziraphale and Crowley"

Adam didn't need telling, he put down his drink and pulled out his phone. He just hoped they'd be able to offer some kind of explanation to what was going on and he was really hoping the world wasn't ending... again.    

              

* * *

*Book reference! (in the Good Omens book the young's have a daughter, Sarah as well as Adam)

*her dad had broken the game cartridge whilst he tried to get her device set up for her, due to his notorious bad luck with technology, she has now learned to never let her dad anywhere near her technology.

*a few generations down the line of course, she just hasn't figured out how far down the line she is.  

 


	10. A Conversation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Delilah recieves a Ethereal visit and a bit of hope.

Delilah was laying in a bed in her borrowed pyjamas*. her head was spinning from the anger she's just come down from and she just felt numb now. she could feel nothing and all she wanted to do was sleep. sleep was nice, Delilah liked sleep. sure she technically didn't need it, the same with food by why waste such an activity that could effectively pass the time. So she closed her eyes and decided to try that. 

It didn't work. 

she couldn't sleep. 

she guessed it was probably because she was worrying about a lot of stuff no thirteen year old should be worried about. So, she just lay there, in the guest room of Cyrus' house* staring at the ceiling waiting  for the sun to rise.  Tom Black had banned all discussion of an explanation to the group until Delilah was in the right mindset and ready to talk without getting to emotional. that was some good common sense, Delilah had guessed, on his part because no doubt Cyrus had told him about her outburst that evening. so naturally, as she lay doing nothing, her mind made a list, usually this was a way to get her to sleep, making lists. so she did, she made a list of thing what a twelve year old should be thinking about and what they shouldn't be. 

**Stuff a twelve year old (nearly thirteen year old) girl should be thinking about:**

  1. **That TV show/ musician/guy you like**
  2. **Getting your first period**
  3. **Making friends**
  4. **What are some new swear words you can learn**



**Stuff a twelve year old (nearly thirteen year old) girl should not be thinking about:**

  1. **Saving the world**
  2. **Threatening to kill someone**
  3. **Parents dying (or the ethereal equivalent)**
  4. **Your Parents might not come back from being 'dead'**
  5. **The world ending before your thirteenth birthday**
  6. **The fact the world is ending**
  7. **The fact that all of the above is your fault**



"it's not your fault"

Delilah heard something say in the back of her mind. she shut her eyes, silently telling the voice to shut it before actually replying out loud to reaffirm it. 

"yes it bloody was" 

"Delilah Eden Crowley listen to me when i'm talking to you" 

Delilah's eyes snapped open. That voice was not in her head. it sounded as if it was coming from the end of the bed. She sat up and squinted in the darkness, to see Aziraphale, sat on the bed.

"pa? what the hell?"

"that's not a nice way to greet your father" Aziraphale said

Delilah reached out her hand towards him, but Aziraphale frowned, and Delilah knew she couldn't touch him. 

"where are you? how are you doing this?" 

"purgatory has this kind of telephone system that allows for the dead to contact the living if only briefly"

"purgatory? why are you there?" 

" it was just where i ended up. I suppose heaven and hell don't quite know what to do with me" 

"and dad? is he there with you?" 

"no, I assumed he was still with you" Aziraphale looked very concerned

"his body was there in the bookshop like yours was, like he'd been shot with the celestial gun as well"

"oh dear, that's very concerning" Aziraphale said " I'll try and see if I can find him, he probably just got misplaced" 

"misplaced?" 

"don't worry, I'm sure he's alright" Aziraphale smiled at her "where are you?" 

"Cyrus' house, it's the only place we could think of that was safe" Delilah said "well, Cyrus thought of it- I was kind of, emotionally compromised"

"I'm sorry" 

"not your fault, Lilith did it but because I'm supposed to stop her" Delilah looked down, tears filling her eyes "it comes down to me" 

"no that's not true, your dad and I were researching ways to stop it" 

Aziraphale smiled sympathetically at the girl wanting nothing more than to hold her and promise her it'll work out

"I wish you were here, both you and dad, it would be so much easier and I wouldn't be so lost" 

"we are, we're in there" Aziraphale pointed to his chest 

"pa, that's cheesy" 

"doesn't make it any less true" Aziraphale said "oh I'm running low on time" 

Delilah looked up and dried her eyes

"We'll find a way back" he said "angel's promise"*

Delilah smiled   

"talking to you and knowing at least one of you is around in some capacity has made me feel a lot better" 

"that's what I've always been good at, talking"

"I'll try my best to stop untimely Armageddon two, I promise and I'll bring both of you back"

"I have all my faith in you, no doubt your dad will too" 

"Love you Pa" 

 Aziraphale faded before she could get a response back, and she was alone. It was still dark outside but she heard a knock at the door, she glanced at the clock on the bedside table, 7:30 am.   

"Lila, dad's made some bacon and eggs if you want some?" 

Delilah smiled, filled with determination and hope after that talk with Aziraphale, and answered his question

"tell him to save a plate for me"

she got up, made the bed and hurried out the door, hoping that an explanation at the breakfast table will serve some light on the situation to her and the rest of the group.

* * *

*From Cyrus' older half sister Artemisia,  from a failed relationship Tom had when he was sixteen. she is ten years older than Cyrus, obviously not a half-demon and did not escape her father's obsession with the Persians and the Persian Wars. she now lives overseas in New York, with her fiance Jonah.   

*There was no way Tom was going to let Delilah share a room with three hormonal boys, although nothing was bound to happen and he had every faith in the four of them he wasn't going to risk it since that was the exact mistake his parents made when they let him stay in a room with his girlfriend from secondary school at sixteen.

*'Angel's promise' was a thing Delilah created when she was very little, it was originally the angel equivalent of a 'pinky promise' but it just kind of a thing that stuck when she was older. Delilah also created the phrase 'Demon's promise' for Crowley (but  that did not stick like 'angel's promise' did).  

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Btw, the first list was based mostly about what I can remember thinking/worrying about at twelve/thirteen, minus the guy you like because thirteen year old me had no crush on any person (if you don't count the multitude of fictional guys!).


	11. Time for an Explanation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tom Black gives the Loser Troupe an explanation of what just is going on and give them an idea of what they need to do next.

The rest of the Loser Troupe were still worried about hurting Delilah by bringing up the fact that her parents had just died, so they were quite surprised when the said girl hopped down the stairs and into the kitchen in a seemingly cheerful mood. 

"morning" 

"good morning Delilah, you seem to be a lot more yourself this morning" Tom Black said as he pushed a pate of bacon and eggs* towards the space next to Cyrus.

Tom Black was a man in his late thirties, who had the look in his eyes of someone who had aged about twenty years in about half of that time. He had a very good nature and the most patient human Delilah had ever met, and that's saying something considering he had to raise a half demon on his own without barely any help.  

"I am, thank you Mr Black"

"I've been telling you since you were four, call me Tom" 

"oh, yeah, thanks Tom" Delilah said as she slid into the seat next to Cyrus, who seemed to relax a bit more upon realising that she was feeling better, and had smiled at her, passing her the cutlery she smiled back as she took a knife and fork from his hand. 

"um Tom, since we're all here, maybe you could tell us what's going on exactly?" Dexter asked "please?" 

Delilah looked at Dexter who was was sat next to Ned before looking at Tom who sighed. 

"I guess I owe you four an explanation" Tom said "have Cyrus and Delilah explained everything they can to you two boys?" 

Delilah and Cyrus both immediately replied with a 'yes, absolutely everything' in sync with Dexter and Ned's 'no, barely anything' 

"right looks like I'm explaining everything from the beginning" Tom said leaning over the table "In the beginning, in 4004 BC, at the creation of the earth, God created two human beings, Adam, and Lilith" 

"I thought it was Adam and Eve?" Ned asked 

"but within a day of Lilith's creation, God decided that Lilith was not in her image and so damned her to hell and created Eve instead, and well you know the story of Adam and Eve. however in the garden, there was also the Angel of the eastern wall and the serpent, who were supposed to be adsversaries but found some common ground in the fact that they both liked earth and were too much like each other. anyway they became friends and stopped the apocalypse and later romantically entangled, resulting in the first ever half demon, half angel"

"that's me by the way, hi" Delilah said 

"meanwhile, Lilith had her own plans, during the apocalypse that was not, she decided to seduce a single father into having another child, eventually giving birth to a boy the dad named Cyrus seven days before Delilah came into existence"

"right okay we get it so what's this got to do with us?" 

"well, Lilith had a plan  to use earth as kind of her new breeding ground/ playground, something which could only be stopped by said half angel and demon which was why when she found out there was one in existence she tried to kill it to avoid a prophecy about her plan failing the day of said child's thirteenth birthday" 

"what? she tried to kill me?" 

"Aziraphale told me that she was looking for you after meeting up with Crowley in a bar" 

"right so Aziraphale just told you all this?" 

"he did once he realised that I was the only person who had never been properly corrupted by Lilith's ways" 

"failing that, she obviously thought the best option was to break her opponent into bits and go after the two people she cared most about, your parents"

"she separated them so they wouldn't be able to help?" Cyrus asked

"probably, I wouldn't know where they would end up though, sorry Delilah, that's ineffable business beyond any human's knowledge" 

"oh don't worry, my pa's definitely trapped in purgatory and my dad is most likely being hauled up in hell, most likely, considering his track record being in their bad books" 

"wait so how are we supposed to defeat Cyrus' mum?" Dexter asked 

"do you have the sword?" 

"flaming sword? yeah" Delilah said clicking her fingers and making the sword appear in front of her* 

"the flaming sword is a holy object- it should kill her- or at least hurt her" 

"but won't it hurt Delilah?" Cyrus asked "if she's half demon, we don't exactly know how it'll effect her"

"as long as I don't hold it for long I should be alright"

"I suggest you take the holy water and the plant sprayers just in case"  

"those would definitely kill her" Cyrus said "wait- what do you mean? we take them? aren't you coming? you're the adult" Cyrus asked his dad 

"well, I can't believe I'm saying this but it's down to you kids to stop everything" Tom replied as he put the sword back into Cyrus' rucksack 

"but how are we going to get to Tadfield? and what about school? we can't skip school!" Ned spoke up 

"nerd" Cyrus muttered 

"Cyrus Theodore Black, apologise to Ned, that was a very legitimate concern " Tom said sternly to his son   

"sorry" Cyrus sighed

"it's not a good idea to go to school especially since it's over run by demonic forces, until it's over, which is why I haven't gone in today"* Tom explained "it's too risky for me to take part in this, she'll know I was the one who helped you" 

"oh that's just a shi-" Cyrus starts to say 

"no worries Mr Black, we understand, we'll take the bus- come on guys" Delilah interrupted Cyrus smiling at  picking up the bag and heading towards the door 

"uh Delilah, you're still in pyjamas" Tom said 

Delilah looked down at her clothes, then looked at the boys who were all dressed already (Ned and Dexter having borrowed some clothes from Cyrus). she was indeed in the pyjamas.

"the jumble bag behind you is full of Artie's old clothes, there should be something in there for you" Tom said 

Delilah rummaged in the black bin bag full of old clothes ready to go off to a jumble sail and pulled out a white plain t-shirt, a pair of worn jeans (those didn't belong to Artemisia because she hated jeans so they must have between Cyrus'), and a lemon coloured hoodie that would be a little bit big for her, she waved her hand and was immediately dressed, slipping on her red converse trainers* she wore for cycling to school, looked turned to the boys and Cyrus' dad. 

"thanks Mr Black for everything, come on guys" 

Ned and Dexter were staring in shock at how she could actually miracle her clothes on* and Cyrus had a smirk on his face, the kind if smirk guys have in movies when they were checking out a girl they liked, not caring that his father was in the same room as him (although he doubted his dad would have minded since he knew what it was like to be thirteen and have the opportunity to see your crush change in front of you)*.

"looking good angel, those jeans fit you way better than they ever did on me"

"are you saying I look better in boys clothing that is two sizes too big for me?" Delilah raised her eyebrow at the boy

"no, jeez, don't get tetchy, there's a spare belt on the banister" Cyrus said raising his hands in defense "I'm only teasing"

"I know, boy, learn to take a joke" she laughed as she put on the belt

"right, we'd better be off, come on boys, we've got a hellish invasion to stop"  Delilah said

"be careful you four, and Cyrus you'd better come back in one piece"  

"yes dad"

and the Loser Troupe followed Delilah out of the house, ready to go and prevent the Apocalypse, whatever way they can. and Delilah knew that she'd do anything to stop it even if she had to sacrifice herself to do it.   

 

* * *

*Scrambled, her favourite style of egg, which Tom had learned from endless sleepover's Cyrus 'hosted' as a kid.

*Before leaving the school she'd handed it to Cyrus who had put it into his rucksack.

*Although Tom was the head of humanities at the school, he only worked part time as he was also a historian at the Natural History Museum so that's why he wasn't effected by the demons 'hypnosis' as he was working at the museum.

*for reference, think the Tenth  Doctor’s red shoes in Doctor Who.

*Not because she could do it without getting naked (as most hormonal boys at that point of their lives would assume but Dexter and Ned had no interest in the female anatomy) but because o of the fact she could do something really goddamn useful in a matter of seconds.

*Which was probably Tom's first mistake as a teenager, spying on his then crush (future ex-girlfriend and the mother of his eldest child) through the keyhole of the girls changing room at school. 


	12. A Living Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hell is not too bad... said no-one ever

To say hell was bad would be an understatement. In fact, there probably wasn't a word to describe how bad hell actually was, which was something Crowley had learned fairly quickly after falling (he did not fall, he sauntered vaguely downwards into that pit of sulfur). and just when he thought that he had finally  escaped the clutches of the horrid place, he was thrown right back into it. only now he was in chains. literally.

After the bullet had entered Crowley, he'd woken up chained in a dark dungeon like room that could only be conceived in Hell, every single one of the worst torture methods in existence were there, the brazen bull, heretic forks, a version of Coffin Torture, thumbscrews, you name it, it was probably there and Crowley suspected that he'd probably be put though each one since the rest of Hell assumed he was immune to Holy Water. the door opened and in walked Beelzebub, the leader of hells forces (and Satan's right hand man), and the demon who had but him in here in the first place, Lilith. 

"Lord Beelzebub" Crowley said with his signature smile "Lilith" 

"Crowley" Beelzebub said "Lilith tells me you've refused to join uzzz" 

"well, I've been busy you see, parenthood really takes it out of you" 

"we're here to proposition you Crowley" 

"oh?" 

"yes, Lilith tell him what'z going to happen"

Lilith smirked and bent down to Crowley's height 

"you're going to join us or you'll be subjected to all these torture devices until you concede and join my army" 

"ah, there's one problem, my body is still on earth, you can't physically touch me" 

"you're forgetting that we've granted you a copy of your original body for that reason"  Beelzebub said "a body that means if you leave hell, you'll be left without one" 

"ah, right so no chance of escape then?"

"certainly not" Beelzebub said 

"and failing that, we can make life very hard for your boyfriend. not that he has one." Lilith said

"Aziraphale" Crowley suddenly remembered the fact that Aziraphale wasn't there "what have you done to him?"

"oh nothing terrible yet. sent him to a place of no belonging that's all"

Purgatory. Crowley knew that's where Aziraphale would end up, he just hoped he was safe*.

" you think I'd join you on a lost cause? you'd have to be mad" Crowley spoke with a laugh

"right, then looks like it'zzz the thumb screws for you" Beelzebub said indicating for Lilith to put the medieval torture device onto Crowley's hands, she slipped them on with the same evil grin and started to tighten them but before they could get to bone cracking tightness the door to the room opened interrupting them.

 "My Lord Beelzebub we have a problem" Hastur hurried in 

"what iz it?"

"the abomination is out to stop us" Hastur said

"the abomination?" Crowley asked

Lilith stood up straight and her grin got wider 

"my opponent in the battlefield, the one I will destroy with my bare hands, is on the move" she spoke "it's time" 

Crowley remembered what Lilith had said before she shot Aziraphale and him and through word association, he immediately figured out who exactly they were talking about. Delilah.  

"but they have the flaming sword. they took it from the school" Hastur said

Crowley laughed and the three other demons looked at him. 

"that's my girl!" Crowley smirked, a look of pride on his face "you're going to be in a lot of trouble once she's finished with you"

"not if I get to her before she can use it" Lilith said turning towards Beelzebub.

"Hastur, go and get Dagon to ready troupes, Lilith, start enacting  your plan" 

"what about me? what are you going to do about me?" Crowley inquired 

"we told you what's going to happen to you" Beelzebub replied "that'z not going to change Crowley" 

"right"

"bring in the torturer!" Beelzebub ordered as the three demons left the room leaving Crowley chained without any chance of escaping.

And as a big brute of a demon, holding a whip entered and walked towards Crowley, despite the grim looking situation, Crowley smiled the biggest  grin he could muster for no matter how unsure the situation was, he still had one thing the others didn't*. faith in others. and if there was one thing he could hold on to in grim moments like this, if he had one thing that would keep him going, it would be his upmost faith in his family. his daughter would win and make things right. Believed in her.         

* * *

*Purgatory, whilst regarded as a rather safe place, did have some dangerous aspects that could pop up randomly, mostly to test those waiting, and although those were generally hallucinations of something hellish that turned out heavenly or something heavenly that turns out hellish, and could not strictly harm humans, it could be damaging to angels or demons.  

 

  


	13. Travelling at The Speed Of Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Demon once said (whilst driving down the M25 in a blazing car), 'If you've got to go, then go with style!'

The Loser Troupe had stopped back at the bookshop to gather supplies*, and after packing up their school bags with everything they could think of that would help (which was mostly holy water and plant misters)* and after Delilah had written a note to her parents in case they woke up whilst she was gone, had headed out of the doors, leaving their bikes where they were as there was no way they could cycle to Tadfield in the amount of time they had.

"ready guys?" Delilah smiled at the boys

"as ready as you can be at the end of the world" Ned said 

"so not okay then?" Delilah said

"nope"

"it's not the end of the world yet. we've still got at least a few hours"

Delilah turned walking in the direction away from the bus stop (it was more of an attempt at a bad ass swagger which in turn just was terrible), leaving the boys confused

"uh Delilah the bus stop is that way" Dexter pointed out to her

"yeah, I know"

"but we're getting the bus" 

"and potentially endanger innocent bystanders?" Delilah asked "no, I've got a better idea"

"and that is?"

Delilah indicated down the road to the car she'd spent her early life being driven around in by Crowley, The black 1926 Bentley. 

"you have got to be kidding" Dexter sighed "you're planning on taking your dad's car on a joyride?"

Delilah reached the car and pulled open the car door, sitting in the drivers seat.

"it's not a joyride, I take no pleasure in it" Delilah said shrugging " it's either this or getting other people who don't need to be involved, involved"

the boys get in the car, Cyrus hops ecstatically in the passenger seat and Ned and Dexter reluctantly climb into the backseats and strap themselves in. 

"stealing a car? didn't  know you had it in you" Cyrus smiled at Delilah

"we're not stealing! we're borrowing it"* Delilah replied casually. too casually for Ned and Dexter's liking 

"but we're underage! we'll get caught!" Ned stuttered nervously 

"we won't"

"never mind that, do you even know how to drive this?" Dexter asked 

"I expect so, it's that sort of a week"

"you mean you don't know" 

"I wouldn't have suggested using it if I didn't"

"how though? you're twelve!" 

"my dad's an actual demon, he taught me the basics behind my pa's back" Delilah said like it was the most normal and obvious thing in the world and drove down the road in the directon of the M25 at 90 MPH. 

* * *

* * *

 

Delilah stopped  just before the M25 (which was not on fire thankfully and actually completely deserted due to the extreme bad weather) and parked, looking back at the back seat where Dexter and Ned were sat clutching one another in absolute fear. 

"you two okay?" 

"y-you're insane!"

"not insane, just a bit demonic" Delilah smiled "we need a bit more style entering the end of the world"

Delilah popped open the glove compartment of the 108 year old car and pulled out a pair of purple glasses,  before deciding not to put them on out of fear that she wouldn't be able to see where she was going, if she took off her circular normal ones, so she handed them to Cyrus, and said

“put those on” 

“why?” 

“They’ll look cooler on you” 

Cyrus gave her a look of ‘is that the real reason? That they’ll look cooler on me?’

“...and I just don’t want to look weird by putting them back since I realised I won’t be able to drive” 

“Angels and Demons have perfect vision, you don’t need your-“ 

“Cyrus” 

Cyrus put his hands up in surrender and put on the glasses. 

“Fine, as you wish” 

Delilah let out a wire-y smile at that comment knowing what that last comment was a reference to. 

“Siri, call Pa”

“Calling, Pa” 

“What are you doing that for?” Dexter asked 

“Well what if they wake up and they don’t see the note and don’t know where I am? They’re more likely to see the voicemail before they see the note” 

It went to voicemail as expected, and Delilah spoke 

“Hey pa, hey dad, not to worry you but I’m leaving this in case you don’t remember what exactly went on, but I’ve gone to fight Lilith so if you wake up before I’m back, congratulations, the world hasn’t ended! If I’m not back by seven tonight assume the worst. Love you both” 

She hung up. 

“What the hell was that?” Ned asked

“What?” 

“Y-You can’t just leave a voicemail like that, it’ll make them worry” 

“I told them not to worry and I’m only being brutally honest, they know me, they won’t be worried” 

Delilah then fiddled the dial on the radio, turning up the music from silent to an okay level of noise. She cringed as she realised what song was starting to play.

‘Delilah, Delilah, oh my, oh my, oh my - you're irresistible - ooh ooh ooh

You make me smile when I'm just about to cry

You bring me hope, you make me laugh - and I like it-‘ 

She switched it off and rummaged for a album in her dad’s side compartment. 

“Aww Delilah, Why’d you switch the radio off? It’s a good song!” Cyrus said teasingly 

“Hate that song”* she muttered to herself as she put in the album. It started playing the last track it last on. 

“Ah Hell yes! Great song to go out on in style! Now, let’s drive!” 

“Delilah the winds are picking up! And the road has gotten way too icey in the past five minutes to even-“ 

Delilah stepped on the accelerator and sped down the deserted M25, with ‘Don’t stop me now’ blaring in the background, _'a fitting song'_ , she thought, _'to the group going to stop the end of the world'_.

And if saving the world fails, at least they'd be going out with style.

* * *

*They'd indeed caught the bus back to the bookshop since their bikes had been left there and they figured that they would need certain objects in case things  go sour,things like a bunch of Crowley's plant misters. 

*Crowley had felt the need to have lots of holy water in the house after Delilah's birth in case he needed to protect her, much to Aziraphale's chagrin of how dangerous that actually was for the demon.

*Sorry, couldn't resist putting a Doctor Who reference in. 

*Delilah hates the queen song 'Delilah' because everybody she meets at school starts singing that song and 'Delilah' by Tom Jones (a song she also hates for the same reason) when they hear  her name. Cyrus knows this an enjoys teasing her about it. 


	14. Talking with Authority

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cramping someone's style is apparently still a thing at the end of the world and it ultimately causes a word the highest authority out there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning for a car crash (it's not explicit or graphic but I'd thought I'd put one just in case).

Driving into Tadfield, Delilah had never felt more alive, she was thumping along to Queen (which had now moved onto 'Bohemian Rhapsody'), singing at the top of her lungs to the song. everything was going to plan, no interference from up above or down below, the car hadn't been damaged in any way, and her friends seemed to be more comfortable with her driving, in fact Dexter and Cyrus were singing along with her and Ned was nodding along. It was easy! nothing could stop her! she was certain that within the three hours she had until Lilith's plan would be successful, she'd be able to restore balance to the world and save it from another apocalypse and get her parents back! However, those thoughts were short lived and the feeling of excitement and determination was brought down by a single sentence;

"DELILAH! LOOK OUT!"

the group only had a second to grasp that in the middle of the road stood a tall lady with black hair and a really short red dress on, before Delilah swerved to avoid  her, the group screamed as they, skidded on the ice, spun around in circles and crashed sideways into a tree trunk blocking the road and the last thing could remember was thinking 'that woman literally appeared out of thin air'. 

* * *

* * *

Delilah opened her eyes and blinked her eyes into focus. the first thing she registered was, that she was not outside of Tadfield anymore, she was in what seemed to be a large, white waiting room, full of felt chairs, in rows of three lining the walls, and most noticeably two doors at each end of the room both with a sign above them. the right door's sign was a big gold and silver one with 'Heaven' written in a font that could only be used for a large corporation and the left door's sign was a red neon flickering sign like one you'd get out of a rundown night club with 'Hell' written on it. there were also other doors, but those were the two important ones that gave Delilah a clue as to where she was.

Purgatory. 

The next thing that Delilah registered was, two voices, arguing with one another, and as soon as Delilah sat up, she could a see immediately who the voices belonged too. a demon with a fly hat, and an archangel in a grey suit

"she belongs to us Beelzebub, your lot has nothing to do with this"

"we have everything to do with this archangel, she'z part demon az well as angel"

"oh look she's awoken, good, we can brief her of the situation"

"tell her where she's going you mean" 

 the Archangel held out his hand to the twelve year old as she stood up, staring at the both of them. 

"Delilah, hi, it's me your uncle Gabriel-" 

"you're not my 'uncle', Gabriel, you're my pa's boss" Delilah deadpanned "and I know who you are too Beelzebub, Satan's right hand man, or woman, in your case" 

 "let's start again, welcome to purgatory" Gabriel said "well some of it anyway" 

"where are my parents?" 

"Aziraphale, isn't in this part of Purgatory at the moment, sorry, he's too far away to bring to join the demon and I in discussing this" 

"and the Demon Crowley iz currently stuck in the depths of hell being tortured to our heart's content" Beelzebub confirmed, before the pair turned back to arguing, each other's case  

"zhe was tempted to murder Lilith, you saw how zhe would have done it" Beelzebub hissed 

"she never acted on it, she's always been honest and following the ten commandments" 

"zhe stole a car" 

"borrowed it, those were her words, she's god's creation, she belongs to the angel's side" 

Delilah was shocked. both the leaders of the forces Heaven and Hell saw it appropriate to discuss where she was heading, now that she was probably dead from the bloody car crash, whilst she was stood right there, like she didn't get a say in the matter. 

"excuse me" Delilah interrupted "shouldn't I get a say in this?" 

Gabriel looked surprised but he cleared his throat and replied

"oh, yes, of course, how silly of us, let's hear your opinion" 

"you two do realise that choosing where I go is like choosing which parent I like more, right?"

"yes" Beelzebub said

"which parent would you prefer to go with? out of curiosity?" Gabriel said 

"neither"

"sorry?" 

"you heard me" 

Gabriel crouched down to Delilah's height and smiled

"Delilah, honey, I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation, you have to pick a side"

"I understand perfectly the gravity of the situation and you two idiots won't listen. you two never learned, you don't have to chose a side" 

"you're working for us" Gabriel said 

"no, I'm trying to get my parents back, not working because Heaven demands it" Delilah said "in fact, i'd go as far to say that you two don;t care about where i end up, it's more of an attempt to stop me from stopping Lilith's plan for Beelzebub and more of a confirmation of me working with Heaven for Gabriel"

"she is right" a voice spoke up from across the white, plain room, Beelzebub immediately tensed up, and Gabriel suddenly stood up smartly, smoothing down his suit to make himself look presentable. Delilah had never heard this voice before but she figured it had some kind of authority, and when she turned her head towards the voice, and to where Gabriel and Beelzebub were looking, she had her answer. A woman, in a white dress, was there with them and whilst Delilah didn’t recognise the woman at all, she got a sense of comfort, a comfort only a mother could provide, something Delilah had never once experienced*. 

"I'm sorry, my God Almighty, but what does that mean?" 

"Archangel Gabriel, Demon Beelzebub, I want you to stop arguing and leave me to talk with Delilah" 

Beelzebub immediately replied, clearly being scared out of her wits, Gabriel was more reluctant but realised that there was no point in fighting his boss and they both disappeared. Delilah realised instantaneously after witnessing the confrontation (and a bit of word assocation) that this was not the Megatron, but God, herself. and she was admittedly little bit afraid.

"don't be afraid my child, you have nothing to be frightened of"

"I-I- don't know about that" Delilah said

"I had to make Crowley fall, it was part of my plan" 

"the ineffable one?" 

"partly, yes, but also not quite" 

"I'm not sure I understand" 

"I knew that one day, Lilith would enact a plan for revenge, that I had to do something to potentially stop her. it all lead up to the creation of my best chance at saving the world I created, you" 

"I was created to stop this from happening?" 

"no, it's your choice, I gave you free will after all, I only deal the cards" 

 

God couldn’t do anything about this. That’s what she was telling Delilah, only the girl had the ability to keep things the way they are and although God had not intended it to happen, Delilah had been made a pawn in this plan, this game of good versus evil. 

“You were not meant to be a line of defence in this war, I am truly sorry about what you’ve become, you were meant to be a bridge between the factions of Heaven and Hell” 

“I don’t understand” 

“My children have been fighting since before the dawn of creation, and if it was not for Adam, the son of Lucifer and your parents, it would have ended in the year 2019, my creation would have been destroyed, lives would have been torn apart. I knew the agreement between the ascended and the fallen that began with their attempts at punishing Aziraphale and Crowley, would not last, was only a matter of time before Lilith the first human turned demon would begin to cause trouble once more, so in an attempt at prolonging the moment the agreement would fail, I gave Aziraphale and Crowley a gift, a new creation, the perfect mix between Heaven and Hell, in the hope that both sides would see it as a new beginning, I gave them you”

“But they didn’t see it that way and now I have to stop the forces of Hell from destroying the world and try to get my family back” 

“Yes. I am truly sorry about what happened to Aziraphale and Crowley, but I couldn’t interfere” 

“I understand, my pa, Aziraphale told me once that you can barely interfere with the course of events, unless of course you count sending your son to die to save humanity’s sins, and I know you can not interfere due to knowing what will happen eventually, I forgive you for that” Delilah said “ha, look at that, I never thought I’d be telling God I forgive her to her face, if only Cyrus could see me now”* 

Cyrus. Dexter and Ned. The Bentley. Oh for somebody’s sake! Delilah had forgotten all about her friends and the car, were they alright? Were they hurt? She had to get back and see if they were alright! If she could go back, Beelzebub and Gabriel had been discussing (arguing) about where to put her, that meant she was dead, right? She had to be dead. God knew what she was thinking and smiled 

“It is not your time, you can go back if you want” 

“I think I should go now, I’ve got people who need me, Cyrus would screw it up” 

“Of course, I will send you back” 

“I promise I will not mess this up” 

“I know you won’t” 

“Wait? You know what’s going to happen right? Why not just tell me?” 

“It’s ineffable”

“Of course it is” Delilah smiled before remembering something “God?” 

“Yes?” 

“Is there any guidance or advice you can give me? So I don’t muck it up?” 

“Use the sword wisely and be careful of Lilith’s power” 

“I’ve seen what she can do I know her lengths of power”

“Lilith has more power than you know, be weary around her son”

“Cyrus? Why would I be weary of him?” 

God snapped her fingers and before Delilah could get her answer, she was pulled back by a unknown force, like a gust of wind, blowing a piece of paper 200 mph. She woke up outside the smoking car. 

 

* * *

 

*The closest thing Delilah could experience to the feeling radiating from the woman was the comfort and love she felt from Aziraphale who, was technically her mother (but she didn't think of him as that, it would be odd to call him mum although, since angels and demons are technically sexless, she doubted he would have minded being called either) Delilah had a different bond with Aziraphale than she did with Crowley but it was only different in the sense there was a hint of more attachment to him since you know, he gave 'birth' to her but it was still far from the feeling in the room at that very moment, it was like, love but extended by like an infinite amount. 

*Whether they’d actually forgive God for anything had come up in conversation one time between the Loser Troupe (Dexter had said no, because God didn't exist in his books and Ned had been unsure about it and Cyrus had said no way he'd forgive God for everything). Delilah had claimed she’d forgive her for everything since God is all knowing and had to do bad things for a reason, Cyrus had claimed that she would have been too chicken to do that and that she wouldn’t have forgiven her to her face when they got there in the end of their life and if she could then he’d eat his hat (not that he had one at that moment in time but now he had gotten a beanie hat for his thirteenth birthday, that was about to change). 

 

        


	15. A New 'Recruit'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Delilah and the gang get to Jasmine Cottage and the reality of impending doom finally hits.

 

Delilah woke up outside the smoking Bentley, and for a few seconds she couldn't quite remember where she was or what had happened for her to be outside, but that didn't take too long to fix as she smelt the smoke, and felt grass beneath her and heard a voice calling her name. she opened her eyes to a blury outline of a boy, leaning over her, 

"Delilah? Lilia!" the boy said "guys she's waking up!" 

"I'm telling you! I saw what I saw I-it was a space Angel" Another voice said 

"Ned, you must have hit your head pretty hard, I mean this whole thing is weird as it is, demons and angels apparently being real, but there's no way you saw a space angel" a third voice said

Delilah's eyes snapped into focus as she sat up to see Dexter, Ned and Cyrus all looking over at her, she sat up quickly, and winced.

“Hey careful!” Cyrus said

“I’m fine” Delilah replied as she got up onto her feet with a cry of pain, was it a broken foot? Yep definitely broken, she could feel it, before looking at the car which was crushed to pieces from smashing into tree, the entire drivers side was. 

“Oh shit, I am definitely going to be discorporated for this” She said “hang on how did you guys get out unscathed?” 

“I don’t know” Dexter said "one minute I was in the car then there was a voice and a pop and both Cyrus and I were outside" 

“That was me” Cyrus spoke up “I just performed a miracle to get as many people out alive as possible”

"the voice didsn't sound like you though Cyrus" Dexter pointed out but his point fell on deaf ears, Delilah’s eyes narrowed at Cyrus

“I thought you couldn’t perform miracles? You said you couldn’t back at school when we were escaping Hastur” 

“I couldn’t, but now I can, I can’t explain it, really I can't!”

“right, okay” Delilah said straightening up and her expression turned determined “everyone follow me!” She said as she limped painfully* in the direction into the small village and in the direction of Jasmine cottage.

“Wait! Hold up Delilah, you’re clearly hurt, you need to stop” Cyrus said as the three of them ran after the girl 

“and the someone might see the car” Dexter added 

“Space angel.. why won’t you believe me?” Ned muttered 

Delilah waved her wrist

“There, it’s practically invisible, kind of a perception filter like in  _Doctor Who_ ”*

Cyrus sighed at his crushes ridiculousness 

She paused 

“Wait? Ned, you mentioned space angel? There’s no such thing, and take it from me, so why do you keep mentioning space angels?” 

“He’s probably got concussion, he hit his head pretty bad” Dexter pointed out 

“I saw a flickering image of an angel, except it looked like your dad” 

“Wait- you mean my pa?” 

“Ginger and yellow eyes?” he said “is that your pa? I get confused”  

Delilah looked surprised 

“Did my dad say anything to you?” 

“He said not to worry and that he had a plan” 

“that’s going to go splendidly well” Delilah said sarcastically “because he can’t get out of bloody Hell”

“Hey don’t you bloody swear at me, what would your pa say?” Ned said in a different voice.

“That wasn’t me!” Ned exclaimed suddenly in his normal voice 

“Sorry about that Ned, Crowley needed a body from where he is” Dexter spoke up in another voice “oh wait it’s happened to me too!” Dexter said in his normal voice “what’s going on?” 

“I think, you two are being used as vessels of some kind” 

“Yeah, keep it on the quiet side though Delilah, Hell doesn’t exactly know I'm using a vessel to talk to you" Ned said in Crowley's voice "what's going on up there, by the way where are you?" 

"y-you can't see?" 

"no we're still stuck in our places but we can hear you" Dexter said in Aziraphale's voice.

"Tadfield"

"how'd you get there?" 

"bus" Delilah lied "but the bus crashed"

"and that gave us the opportunity to somewhat use Ned and Dexter I suppose"

"yes, it did" Aziraphale said

"I always thought you'd go for Ned Wilkin's body, angel, fit your style more" 

"but Dexter Jones is full of love for Ned, I was drawn to this one Crowley" 

"uh tell me about it! he's full of affection for Dexter too, it's horrible!"

"looks like I owe Delilah fifty quid" Cyrus muttered "stupid bet" 

Delilah smiled 

"at least I have my parents back in some capacity"

"there's no way of knowing what will happen if we're forced from these bodies though, we're still trapped in our respective places, if forced then, we might not make it back" Aziraphale warned Delilah 

"well in that case, don't get forced out"

"I've got let Ned back in now, stupid torturer back for round six. he's got the a twelve clawed whip now"

"Crowley, don't you dare die on us okay?" Aziraphale said 

"wasn't planning on it"

"be careful Delilah, we'll be back in a bit" 

and Dexter and Ned were suddenly back to normal.

"what the hell just happened?" Dexter demanded 

"I think the adults are starting to interfere" Cyrus said 

"help, Cyrus, they're helping" Delilah pointed out 

"that's what I meant, helping" 

Delilah turned and continued the way to Jasmine cottage. 

* * *

* * *

Agnes Pulsifer was sat in her bedroom in Jasmine cottage, looking out of the window at the god awful grey weather, when from her window she saw four preteens* arrive at the door, in a two by two formation, on the back right stood a boy, average height, with dark skin, and brown, shaggy hair, red jumper and a purple scarf, next to him on the left stood a smaller boy standing anxiously, the only way that Agnes could describe him was as a smaller version of the main protagonist, Milo, from that old Disney film, _Atlantis: the lost city_ *, scrawny, with brown hair thin face and glasses, the other two were a boy with lightly tanned skin and jet black hair that fell in waves over his forehead and a girl with short fire like ginger hair in two short pigtails and fair skin with fair skin with slightly rosy cheeks, she recognised that girl immediately. It was Delilah Crowley, her childhood friend and unrequited love*. Delilah and Anges had known each other since Delilah's birth, (Anathema and Newt were named Delilah's godparents so of course they were around to help out) and had seen each other every few months whether it had been through video chats or actual visits, for a long time Delilah's only friend had been Agnes until she started school and met Cyrus but nevertheless they'd remained close and despite Agnes' feelings towards the girl not being requited, she would always be ready to help her with whatever.

she ran downstairs to her mother having already opened the door and had a confused look on her face 

"Delilah!" Agnes exclaimed running up to the girl and pulling her into a very tight hug 

"Agnes, hi" Delilah said awkwardly "can't breathe" 

"sorry" she let go "it's been a while" 

"it's been three months" 

"Jesus Christ what have you done to your leg"

"car crash"

"who-" 

"Cyrus, Ned, and Dexter, their my friends from school, we don't really have time though" 

"you four better come in, you'll catch your deaths" Anathema said 

"thanks Auntie Anathema" Delilah said "hi uncle Newt" Delilah said as Newt came to the door 

"where are your parents?" he asked immediately noticing 

"long story" Delilah said as she limped into the house

"we've got time" 

"funny thing, time"

"something has definitely happened you're not this stressed" Agnes said  

"let's get you four a drink and you can explain everything" Anathema said "I'll ring Adam and get him and Pepper over, I guess they'll need to hear this"

Delilah nodded as Newt lead the four kids into the kitchen, and as soon as Adam and Pepper were there Delilah took a deep breath and began to explain everything. 

* * *

* * *

"So what you're saying... is, the demon Lilith, the original Adam's technical first wife is about to take over the earth and cause Armageddon part two, and Aziraphale and Crowley were separated from their bodies but not discorporated and they're partly taking over Ned and Dexter's bodies like Aziraphale did with madame Tracy but only with very limited power and it's down to you four too stop it?" Anathema questioned 

"yep" 

"well that makes sense why Adam's powers are back and we can remember the first Armageddon properly" Pepper said 

"what? Adam's powers are back?" Delilah asked looking at her God-brother* with surprise 

"kind of, yeah" 

"he can help us then!" Dexter said

"no I can't" 

"but you're the Anti-Christ!" Cyrus exclaimed  

"I won't have enough power" Adam explained "it's barely enough to make a cup of coffee" 

"he's right" Delilah said "if his powers have only come back in a diluted form then it won't be enough. besides Agnes Nutter's prophecy said nothing about the Anti-Christ being involved"

"then how on earth are we supposed to know what to do with the sword? or have a plan?" 

"I could help" Agnes spoke up, and Delilah looked at the frizzy brown haired, blue eyed girl with surprise "I know a lot about demons, I'm pretty sure I've got a book on the workings a weapon would have on that kind of demon" 

"no I don't want to drag anyone who isn't necessary into this mess" Delilah shook her head

"Delilah you need all the help you can get" 

"no, I shouldn't have even brought Ned and Dexter along, I can't drag anyone else in" 

"stop with the pessimistic attitude" Aziraphale's voice came out of Dexter's mouth "we believe in you and they're here to help you listen to them"

"oh thanks pa, like I didn't know that. oh boy that's weird calling Dexter that" 

"oh Dexter really needs to sort out his feelings towards Ned" 

"w-what feelings?" Ned asked 

"oh did I say something I wasn't supposed to?"

"doesn't matter now, the world is ending!" Delilah said "if you're not going to be helpful at the moment pa, just piss off back to purgatory for now and wait for dad to finish being tortured" 

and just like that Aziraphale was gone again. 

"I'm really going to help out whether you like it or not!" Agnes said to her friend "you're my beast friend" 

"hey, hold on, Delilah's right, we can't just let anyone in, you're her best friend?" Cyrus said harshly 

"yeah I was there right from the beginning, her shoulder to cry on, the person who'd play teddies with her, speak to her every day for five years straight, who are you to her if you don't mind me asking?"

"I'm the guy who's been there for her through every tough time at school, at home, I've literally held her as she cried, hell, I PUNCHED a guy who rejected her and then made fun of it, I'm her best friend, her emotional support- I've been there more than you so don't question me" 

"Guys! you're both my best friends now shut up this is pointless, you know what Agnes, I don't want to kill anyone, can you try and find something to help with that? and Cyrus- just be quiet, god, I need a break"

Delilah stood up and walked out of the room without another word. 

"what's up with her?" Dexter asked

"I'll put some tea and sandwiches on, whilst she calms down" Anathema said 

"I'll help" Newt said 

Delilah's up and down behaviour and moods were was starting to worry everyone and they knew that if Delilah didn't sort it out then, she might not be able to save the world and then they'd all be in trouble. a lot of trouble.   

* * *

*Angels and Demons can cope longer with minor injuries such as a broken leg and although it hurts they can still do stuff with enough determination, without it bothering them and Delilah also could not use healing miracles, she had no idea how to do that.

*Doctor Who exists in The Good Omens universe, Neil Gaiman said that Newt would be a doctor who fan who only owned one tie with the Tom Baker scarf pattern on it, Brian says exterminate in context with aliens being horrible hinting that Doctor Who is a program meaning that both David Tennant and Michael Sheen also exist in the Good Omens universe along with Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett. but also Time Lords exist in the GO universe because a photo of Gallifrey is floating around in Crowley's apartment. but that's just going off the Doctor Who Easter Eggs in the show.   

*Well, the majority of them were preteens still.

*For those who haven't seen Atlantis the lost city, it's an underrated film that doesn't really get a lot of attention sure it's not the bet Disney film but it's still worth the watch, or for reference just look up the pictures.

*Agnes had had a crush on her since she was about six but knew that Delilah had feelings for a boy hard last time they spoke (three months ago) and she told her about her odd feelings towards her best friend from home and that had been her one way ticket to the friend-zone.

*well kind of God-brother, technically, Warlock Dowling was her God-brother but you know her parents were technical God-parents of the Anti-Christ and Adam's the Anti-Christ so the godparent thing just transferred from Warlock to Adam and Adam became the unofficial Godson of Aziraphale and Crowley.  

 


	16. The Calm Before The Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The afternoon goes quickly, Delilah and Cyrus need to talk about something important and the group say their goodbyes.

Thirty minutes later, Cyrus found Delilah in the garden, on the bench by the gate. She was slumped forwards, looking downwards at the flaming sword in her hands.

"Anathema said tea's ready"

"Bit early isn't it? what is it? three?"

"fifteen minutes past three actually"

"it's our last supper"

"the last supper" Cyrus joked before noticing the girl's expression "you're usually laughing at my morbid humour"

Delilah looked at Cyrus as he sat down next to her

"it's nothing, really, just something God said"

"what'd did she say?"

"you're not hiding anything from me are you Cyrus?"

"I don't know, am I?"

"Cyrus, please, if you know anything else about Lilith, can you tell me?"

"I've told you all my knowledge on her Delilah, she's the bitch who left me at birth to go and slaughter a bunch of babies in Soho and can only be stopped by the flaming sword"

"are you sure that's it?"

"why are you being nervous around me all of a sudden?"

Delilah looked into Cyrus' grey eyes, searching for something, searching for a lie, for a give away of faltering trust, but there was nothing but a confused look in them, she smiled before feeling her gaze lingering for too long and she forced herself to look away.

"I'm not, you're my best friend, it's probably uncertainty of what's coming next that's making me like this" she told him, that was half the truth, she was very scared of what’s going to come next, she didn’t know what it was and that scared her but, God warned her to be weary around Cyrus and that had to mean something right? Maybe he was going to do something in the future that even he didn’t know of. Either that, or he was a very good liar. 

“You don’t have to be scared of what’s coming next” Cyrus said out of the blue very seriously “because I know what’s coming next” 

“You can’t possibly, it’s Ineffable, only God knows what’s going to happen and that’s because she’s omniscient”

“Well I can take a wild guess can’t I?”

"go ahead, I doubt it would make a difference" 

"you're going to get through this. You're going to get rid of Lilith for good, you're going to save your parents, and you're going to get your happy ending. I know you will, because you're the unstoppable Delilah Eden Crowley, the best girl I've ever known, and the only one who could deal with something this big and not piss it up" Cyrus spoke sure as anything.

It occurred to Delilah that he was looking at her with the most confident look he had ever given her, his stormy grey eyes glistened over with hope and faith and... Love? no, it couldn't be love, she'd have known, she was probably just mistaking it for another emotion she couldn't distinguish and besides, if he was truly in love with her then surely he would have said something? he was the kind of boy who would just go up to his crushes and get rejected right there and then*. she'd seen it herself. yeah, she was probably just reading into it. 

"and if you mess it up, as your best friend, it's my duty to mercy kill you and I'd rather not get to that option" Cyrus said with a sudden mock dark look in his eyes and his serious mood had shattered immediately, effectively ruining the perfect nature of the moment.

Delilah laughed at his sudden over the top nature "not if I get you first" 

"see? you're laughing now, you can't go back to worrying now" 

"you can talk, destroying the perfect moment for a dark joke" 

"I'm not just all Abraca-fuck-you, and what have you, I have a beating heart, I'm multi-dimensional!*" 

Delilah laughed at that she knew where that reference was from but it made hilarious in this context. 

"you didn't get that reference did you?" 

"nope" she lied 

"feeling better?" 

"not 100% but it'll have to do"

"in that case, my job is done!"

Cyrus jumped up from the bench and stretched out his hand to the girl a prideful smirk appearing on his face, Delilah looked up and took it, smiling.

"come on Lila, let's go save the world" 

"together?"

"together"

"but we've got to have some food first" 

"that goes without saying!"

* * *

* * *

As the best friends entered the house, the first thing Delilah noticed was the plethora of sandwiches and cakes on the dinning room table, it almost made her mouth water, she always liked everything Anathema made food wise, she was a very good cook and she always looked forward to anything she made. it's a shame her pa wasn't actually here to see it, she had no doubt he would have been impressed, Delilah grabbed a tuna and mayonnaise sandwich and plonked herself next to Adam 

"feeling better?" Anathema asked 

"a little, but you know the weight of the world on your shoulders is a horrible feeling" 

"I know how that feels" Adam said jokingly although he wasn't quite joking

the next thing Delilah realised was Dexter and Ned, being themselves and not possessed by the angel and demon, sitting animatedly on the settee talking about something, not to close but it seemed important.she suddenly had an urge to hurry them along and do something incredibly evil. so she smirked and looking over at the two boys she yelled in a sing song voice:

"two bros chilling on the settee, five feet apart cuz they're not gay!"* 

Cyrus laughed so hard that he choked on his drink, Adam and Pepper laughed at Adam's god sister, knowing fully well that they showed her that video, and for the excellent timing, Anathema shook her head as did Newt.

Dexter looked baffled and lost for words, Ned was just very confused, he'd never head that before and they were very flustered 

"Delilah- we're-we're not-"

"sure" she said taking a bite of her sandwich.  

there was suddenly a thumping of footsteps running down the stairs, and Agnes came running into the room holding a book! 

"I've found it! I've found it! a way you can defeat Lilith without killing her!" 

"what? seriously?" Delilah leapt out of her seat and hurried over to Agnes

"you can just trap her, look!" 

Agnes pointed  to a spot in the book she was holding. 

"Flaming sword.... can be linked to the psyche of the user... most users only think of killing... but it can be used to trap the oponent if the intent is there for more than a eternity!"  Delilah said "that's amazing! I don't have to kill Lilith! I'll just trap her in the ninth circle of hell  in a stronger prison than she was in before! You, Agnes Pulsifer, are amazing!" Delilah hugged Agnes in her excitement Agnes blushed a little at her friend's touch, going unnoticed to everyone except Cyrus who suddenly started glaring daggers at her.

"ahem, how do we do that?" Cyrus cleared his throat*

"well it said it's linked to the psyche, then, all i have to[ do is picture where i want her to go and  my intentions and that will happen" 

"how the Hell did you work that out?" 

"it's easy Cy" 

"ah right"

"we still need an actual plan though, how long do we have left to come up with an actual  plan?" Ned asked suddenly but at that moment before Delilah could reply the ground shook, and the clouds went even darker, thunder rumbled in the background

"I think we're out of time" Cyrus said "judging by the weather" 

"so we're winging it?" 

"pretty much, yeah" Delilah said before turning to the adults and Agnes, clicking her fingers and her backpack full of plant misters appeared in her hand

"if something goes wrong, take the plant misters, they'll defend you" 

"no way I'm coing too" 

"i was more talking to your parents and Adam and Pepper" 

Anathema nodded and took the backpack. Newt looked at his daughter 

"Agnes, be careful out there" 

"I will dad" 

he pulled her into a hug  and Anathema looked at the rest of the group 

"that goes for you too. we really don't need the world to end right now" 

"on it" Delilah mock saluted "the Loser Troupe are the ones for the job" 

"we've already avoided an apocalypse once, don't make me come down and stop it for you" Adam said 

"wouldn't want the wrath of the Anti-Christ on that" Delilah smiled turned back to the door "come on, let's end this once and for all" 

 

* * *

 

*Unbeknownst to Delilah, these crushes were just made up by Cyrus to avoid revealing his feelings for her and he just pretended to be hurt by the rejections.

*Kudos to those who get that reference

*Adam showed Delilah, old Vines on YouTube when she was younger, and that had kind of stuck with her. Cyrus also was well aware of the  vines on YouTube because his older sister had shown him them also when she was babysitting him as a kid, Ned and Dexter were not aware of vines.


	17. Preparations for The End Times

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Loser Troupe brave themselves for the inevitable onslaught of demons.  
> In purgatory, Aziraphale gets his prayers answered

The sky had already started to get dark as the group reached the cricket field, but that only somehow set the mood for what was about to occur. 

"so how do we know it will work?" 

"we don't, we just have to try and hope for the best"

"you've got a flaming sword but what do we have? we don't have any weapons" Agnes asked 

"holy water. you didn't think I'd give every plant mister to the adults did you?" Delilah clicked her fingers and appeared four plant misters and two pairs of leather gloves which belonged to Crowley. 

"what's with the gloves?"  Cyrus asked

"one for Ned. you know in case my parents make an appearance, if he's holding holy water then, my dad might get wiped from existence if it touches Ned's skin. the other pair is for you"

"I'll be fine" 

"I'm not risking it" 

"but what about you? You're half demon too" 

"eh, the angel half of me should protect me" 

"you don't know that-" 

"well let’s just hope I'm right"

"you're way to over confident about this" 

"are you ssssure?"  Delilah hissed as she handed each of the group the misters and Ned and Cyrus the gloves

"okay, I was much happier when you were acting over confident" Cyrus commented just as the ground rumbled from beneath them, almost making them lose balance. It was time. 

* * *

* * *

Meanwhile, Aziraphale had been in a spot of bother. after his celestial 'phone call' to Delilah and somewhat possessing Dexter's body, he'd been certain that Delilah could handle the situation and that he would be able to help her in some capacity. but now he wasn't entirely sure about whether he could. Delilah had seemed awfully upset last time he took over Dexter, like she was overly stressed and not thinking straight. on top of that, Aziraphale was worried out of his mind for Crowley, who he hadn't heard from since he told them he had to go because the torturer was back, and what if something had happened to him? what if he'd been hurt? or worse, subjected to holy water! He didn't know how he could help from Purgatory, but he could try one thing. he could pray.  

 so he did. 

"God Almighty, hello, it's the principality Aziraphale here, umm sorry I haven't spoken to you in a while, I've been a bit pre-occupied with raising a half demon, which I've never actually said thank you for giving me and Crowley her, anyway, I really don't know, if you can hear me from here, but I've found myself in quite a pickle, Crowley's been kidnapped by the demon you asked Delilah to protect the world from, in your own way of course, and I'm a little lost about what i should do. Delilah need's help, if this plan is going to work, and I have utmost faith in her that she will bring balance to the world once more, but I think she might need some help and I don't know how to help" he started to speak before giving up completely, remembering the last time he got remotely close to God this way

"oh, what's the point, you'll only send the Metatron and he's not going to be any help with this situation"

"Aziraphale" 

there was a bright light. and the voice it was not the voice of the Metatron, it was one Aziraphale hadn't heard in six millennia. 

"why are you upset?" 

"you know why, Lord almighty"* 

"you're concerned about your daughter and the demon Crowley?" 

"she's going through the most difficult period of her life and I can't do anything to help her, neither can Crowley"

“You’ve been helping Aziraphale, I know that, you may not realise it but you have” 

“how-“ 

“I spoke to Delilah, she seemed a lot more calm than she was after you appeared to her and through Dexter Jones you’ve helped her have faith in what she’s doing” 

“I’m worried about everything. I don’t think I’m able to do much here” 

“you can still possess Dexter’s body can’t you?” 

“Yes” 

“I made angels to be intelligent, use it” 

“how?” 

“That, I cannot help with Aziraphale” 

“oh” Aziraphale managed in a saddened voice 

there was a pause, as if God was thinking (hint, she was) the pause seemed so long in this place of no time that Aziraphale had wondered whether God had left him and forgotten to switch the light off.

”but I can give you something that will help” 

“Oh! Thank you!” 

God disappeared after that leaving Aziraphale alone, wondering what it was that God had given him. It was very usual for God to be cyrptic, for she works in mysterious ways so this was not out of the norm. However what was out of the norm, was that he did not have to wait long to get his answer. 

“Angel?” A familiar, very confused voice asked from behind him.

Aziraphale spun around, quickly, and blinked “Crowley?”

The demon, was stood, covered in somehow singed clothing, his yellow snake eyes fully visible, and wide with shock at what had just happened, he also looked a little shaken from whatever had gone on in Hell but otherwise alright. 

“H-How’d I get here?” 

”Crowley!”

Aziraphale could not stop himself running into the demons arms, grabbing the lapels on his jacket and pulling him into a kiss. Crowley although a little perturbed by what had happened, welcomed this familiarity, and kissed back, with as much eagerness  as angel in front of him.  it was over as quickly as it had begun however, as Crowley had pulled away.

”as much as I enjoy snogging the daylights out of you angel, I just need to ask, you’re not a sick joke from Hell are you?”

”no, why would I- dear, what did they do to you in there?” 

“Nothing I couldn’t handle”

Aziraphale highly doubted this, well, he didn’t actually doubt whether Crowley could handle it, no, he doubted it hadn’t effected him as much as he’d let on. And he also doubted there would come a night when that torture would come back to haunt the demon.*

”how did  I get here anyway?” 

“God rescued you” 

“G-God?” Crowley looked surprised at this development “why the heaven would _she_ ” Crowley pointed his finger up towards what would be the sky (which was quite an accurate estimate of direction from where they were since behind the heaven and hell doors there were escalators going down to hell and up to heaven) “do that?” 

“Because I asked her too”

”you did what?” 

“Well- I didn’t exactly ask- at least explicitly- I prayed you’d be alright and God must have answered it”

“Well, I guess that’s another thing on the list that I should be thanking her for that I probably won’t” 

“What were the other things?” 

“I’d hate to get all sentimental on you angel. I’ll tell you later if you want, after we’ve got out of this place” 

Aziraphale looked down at his feet that shuffled about a little.

“We can’t” he muffled

“I didn’t hear you there” Crowley said  

“ah yes, long story short we can’t. I’ve tried and we can’t get out” 

this was true, as well as praying and hoping that everything would be okay, he had also, been trying to find a way out. It had been impossible. Every door he tried, he had just ended up in a different part of purgatory, a neverending loop of chairs and blank white walls. It was almost hopeless

”well then it looks like we’re relying on Delilah to get us out” 

“about Delilah, I’ve thought of a way we could help her” 

“How?” 

“We can still possess Ned and Dexter’s bodies, so we could help fight using them, in fact I have a feeling Delilah is counting on us for it” 

“I could use the body to perform miracles and get her out of there” 

“or we could just help fight off the demon hoard Lilith’s brought with her” 

the ground in purgatory shook. 

“I think that’s our signal” 

“right. Let’s do this” 

“time to get a wiggle on” 

“Did you just say get a wiggle on?” 

Before Aziraphale could answer the angel and the demon were pulled back into Ned and Dexter’s bodies ready to use the opportunity to help.

* * *

*God did not care for what she was called, for gender was just a social construct, which was why she accepted being called male pronouns besides, the humans had been doing it for years. 

*It did, one night a few weeks later, but Aziraphale was there to get him through it.


	18. Doomsday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The showdown for the world has arrived. Who is going to be the champions and who is going to bite the dust?  
> (sorry couldn't resist referencing Queen songs in a description in a fic about Good Omens!)

 

The ground stopped shaking, at the cricket field in Tadfield, Oxfordshire. The Sky had somewhat darkened as the ground shook and when it had stopped completely a familiar, Black haired lady stood before the group of children, thousands of demons behind her ready to fight for their new ground, she signaled for them to halt and not immediately charge at the occupants of the cricket field.

“mortals! Bow to the forces of Hell or suffer their wrath!” she bellowed at the five of them (or seven if you count Aziraphale and Crowley). 

Delilah stepped out from the centre of the group as the designated leader, she guessed it was her job to do all the negotiating.

“Lilith”

“oh look it’s heaven and hell’s abomination, I thought I’d killed you in that bloody vehicle”

“nasty word abomination, sorry Lilith, no, it’s going to take a lot more than a simple car crash to kill me”

“car crash?” Dexter suddenly exclaimed in Aziraphale’s voice "you said it was a bus crash" 

“the question is who’s car did you crash?” Ned asked in Crowley's voice 

“I'll explain everything later” Delilah said completely not phased by the fact that Aziraphale and Crowley had made an appearance once again.

“what do you want?” Lilith spat at the girl

“you really don’t think earth will just submit to demons taking over, do you?”

“they will when I start killing their women and children”

“said every bad guy ever” Cyrus muttered

"ah my son, Cyrus, wasn't it? how's your daddy dearest? still heartbroken?"

"yeah, he is no thanks to you! and I'm not your son. You're just the bitch who gave birth to me!"

"is that any way to talk to your mother?"

"it is when she's a backstabbing piece of shit who's only goal is to emotionally destroy my crush" 

"I'm sorry, your _WHAT_?" Delilah turned to Cyrus 

"doesn't matter, end of the world" 

"you'd better explain that later"

"enough! I will give you all an option, join us now or die a painful death"

"we're never going to back down! and humanity will never let you take over!"    

“well, they will submit to me once they see the example I’ve made”

“ah, ah, ah, we’ve got a Raging Poison Sword Of Doom so I suggest you stay where you are”

Delilah pointed the flaming sword at the demon trying to act and look threatening* 

 “you did get the reference I made earlier!” Cyrus said

“you didn’t think I wouldn’t just ignore my best friend’s favourite DnD podcast did you? even if it is like two decades old at this point”

“no, Although, it’s technically a raging flaming sword of doom in our case”

“it’s practically poison for ethereal and occult beings though so it still works”

"give it up Lilith, your attempt at domination will fail. we've got holy water!" Agnes added her grip tightening around the trigger of her plant mister

"the worst threat to the forces of Hell" Delilah smiled 

Lilith laughed at that threat and shook her head

"oh dear sweet, Delilah, you're forgetting one thing"

"and what's that?"

"I've still got this!"

Lilith pulled out an object and quicker than anything there was a loud crack of a gun and Agnes went down onto the floor.

"Agnes!" Delilah yelled before turning back to Lilith concerned about her oldest friend "what have you done to her?" 

"oh don't worry, Celestial weapons don't harm mortals, she's merely unconscious" Lilith smirked

"you better not have hurt her" 

"what you going to do do? smite me?"

"no, but I might!" Crowley said holding his mister of holy water directly at her 

"Crowley, no, don't" Aziraphale warned 

"I lost my chance to defend this family once and I'm not doing it again" 

"yes and where did you end up? tortured in Hell. I can't believe I'm saying this but now stand the bloody hell down!"

"Listen to your angel Crowley, we don't want anymore bloodshed" 

"there wasn't any bloodshed" Cyrus pointed out

"not yet my dear boy, there won't be anymore than necessary"

Delilah looked at her parents then back at Lilith, she could tell what she was thinking, discorporating Crowley and Aziraphale for good so she won't have any trouble on earth.  

"back off to Hell and leave my family alone, NOW!"

"you think you're special don't you little Lila?"

"no I don't- maybe to my parents, but in the grad scheme of things I think I'm quite unimportant"

"you're not special to your parents" 

"don't listen to her Delilah, dear- you are special" Aziraphale said trying not to sound offended at the black haired demon's words, like hell she could try and pull that trick 

"not going to work" 

"you think your daddy is over protective of you" 

"I don't- in fact I've said it once and I'll say it again, he doesn't give a flying f- care about me or what I do"

crowley froze _seriously?  she thought that about him?_

"he only cares about the world. it's not like you're his only child"

"w-what do you mean?" 

"rumour has it that six thousand years ago, Crawley here got a little too friendly with Eve in the garden of Eden"

Crowley growled at that "not true"

Delilah's eyes lit up, with amusement, seriously? she was trying to emotionally manipulate her with that theory which her dad had debunked back in the early 2000s once he had learned about how reproduction worked*, was she serious?

"The Serpent's Seed theory? really? you think that's going to work? dad debunked that one years ago, keep up!" Delilah said 

Lilith thought she could break Delilah with feeling worthless or breaking down her relationship and trust in her parents. all well, she still had her back up. perhaps if Aziraphale and Crowley were completely forced out of the boys bodies they would not be able to return and give Delilah hope. with the flick of her wrist, and the gun shot once more, both Crowley and Aziraphale had been ejected from Ned and Dexter who, now lay still on the floor, like Agnes was. they were once seven. now they were only two. 

"well isn't this... what's it called? DeJa Vu?"

"the angel and the demon are nowhere, you're losing them all over again, they can no longer help you with your sorry pathetic attempt at fighting me"

Delilah blinked. that was it. she had to fight her. trickery wasn't going to get her anywhere with this demon. she was not Hastur, she was the first human to be turned into a demon, of course, she would not be willing to talk this one out, it was the reason why God damned her in the first place*. 

"then" Delilah took a deep breath "I challenge you!" she raised her sword in her hand

Lilith took one look at Delilah and burst into laughter

"Oh, that struck a chord. All that talk of defeating me on the battle field and you chicken out?" Delilah said "come on, am I right that your inexplicably stated offer of combat still applies?"

Lilith raised an eyebrow at the girl "for the world?" 

"for the world" Delilah confirmed 

"well then, lets take this a bit more appropriate"

Lilith raised her hand towards the heavens and time froze, Delilah and Lilith were transported to a bright plain of nothingness, but what hadn't been expected, was Cyrus had also been transported there along with Delilah. 

"why is Cyrus here? he should still be on earth!"

"I thought he'd be taught a lesson, in trusting the wrong people, besides he could be incredibly useful in the future"

"Cyrus is as much use as a condom in the Vatican!"* Delilah quipted "no offense" 

"none taken" Cyrus muttered 

"shall we?"

"Delilah, you can't do this, you've brought a knife to a gun fight!" Cyrus pulled at the girl's arm, Delilah looked at him his grey eyes full of worry, and she took his hand off her arm and squeezed it. 

"it's the only way, I'm sorry Cyrus, really am" 

"well then, don't you dare give up on me Lila! you those pirate lessons from when we were younger have finally got a use don't let your first mate down!"

"you can count on me first mate Black. and we still need to finish that DnD campaign we started, the sea of angry Scottish dwarfs won't be able to finish saving the world* otherwise" that made Cyrus smile wiry at her nervous about the possible outcome. 

"and besides. we  have nothing to fear  but fear itself. well maybe pain, and-" 

"-you're about to fight a powerful demon and you're quoting _Red Dwarf_?" 

"hey what can I say, it's a good show"

"I swear to Satan if you say one more _Red Dwarf_ quote in the next ten minutes I'll smite you myself" 

Delilah smiled at Cyrus

"you sure you don't want to go back to Earth? I could make Lilith send you back, you don't have to watch"

"nah, Cyrus's good out here"

"and yet you're still quoting _The Adventure Zone_." Delilah smiled "bloody hypocrite" 

She turned towards Lilith, who's celestial gun had now turned into a celestial sword, one that could actually kill a half celestial or occult being on the spot. she walked into position and stood in a starting pose, waiting for Lilith to make the first move. it came quick as a flash, and Delilah blocked it, thank God for begging her parents for fencing lessons when she was eight*. she took a swipe at the side of the demon who parried it with a block of her own. apparently demons and angels are quite good at fighting although that didn't surprise her, they had to be, for the coming apocalypse. soon they were in full swing, each blocking each other's attacks with ease, it seemed to go on for hours on end. swiping, dodging, going for a stab was all in her mind. Delilah had to keep fighting she could not give up even if it all was looking at a stalemate, neither tired easily after all,  but she had to keep going,  Lilith suddenly went in for the kill swiping down at her head, their swords clanged together as Delilah blocked it and she pushed back but she was soon over powered, the flaming sword flew out of her hands and she stumbled back to the floor.

Lilith smiled evilly "such a pity, I clearly overestimated you, say hello to your parents for me deary"

Delilah's mind raced. she was sorry. sorry for not trying hard enough, not saving her parents, for failing the world below. but she was also accepting of her fate. she Lilith raised her arm back, ready to stab down at Delilah, that would surely hit her in the chest and then she'd cease to be. she whispered out one last "I'm sorry" before bracing herself for the inevitable. 

it never came. 

Instead, there was a shout, a shadow standing over her* and a cry out in pain as the sound of a sword piecing flesh sounded throughout the place. Delilah looked up in shock. the sword left where it had stabbed and the victim let out a groan and fell backwards.

"no!" 

Cyrus Black hit the ground at Delilah's feet, his head rolled to the side, his stormy eyes staring but not seeing, glassy, as if all the laughter had left them.

"huh guess he wasn't as useful as I thought" Lilith said blankly, feeling no emotion towards the fact that her thirteen year old son had died "too blindsided with his love for his little girlfriend" she smirked evilly for the third time that day as she resumed time "but he invalidated the rules of combat, he interrupted it, so by default I get your world, so don't worry you'll be with your _boyfriend_ soon enough" 

Lilith laughed as she turned her back to the twelve year old walking away and started to command her demon army on what to do next. Delilah heard nothing but a murmur, like she was underwater, like the one time she almost drowned in the lake at St James' park when she was four. but she was feeling something completely new. pure rage. If losing her parents the first time round was bad, when she knew they could potentially come back, then it was NOTHING compared to what she was feeling right now. she'd lost her best friend, her soulmate, platonic or otherwise, her first mate on a pirate ship, her rock, to this- this villian. Without thinking, her hand grabbed the sword and with one shot, quicker than lighting itself she caught the demon and plunged the flaming sword deep into her back.

"wha-" Lilith stood in shock.

"such a pity, you clearly underestimated me" Delilah hissed "enjoy being trapped in deepest depths of the ninth circle, bitch" 

she withdrew her sword and the demon crumbled into the earth and the demon fleet followed. the clouds cleared to see the early night sky, the stars just coming out to play. Delilah stumbled exhausted, back towards her best friend

and dropping to her knees, she cried.            

 

* * *

*And failing, miserably. There was literally no way in heaven or hell she could look intimidating compared to an actual demon, her angel side prevents that but just like Aziraphale, she could act extremely threatening compared to a human, if she so wished.

*Crowley had in fact learned how reproduction of species actually worked in Rome during Caligula's reign in 41 AD, involving a very interesting encounter during one roman party. Aziraphale had learned this much earlier in the garden of Eden and had entertained in such an activity once or twice with a Mr Oscar Wilde in the 19th century (he never actually went through with it though).

*God, had in fact Damned Lilith because she did not want to obey Adam. she refused to be tied down and that had made God quite furious. (God has come a long way since those simpler times when you could literally be damned for asking to many questions or hanging round with the wrong group).

*Delilah had apparently developed a taste for 80s and 90s sitcoms just like her dad, and her favourite comedy program was in fact the British science-fiction comedy, _'Red Dwarf'_ , she'd watched it so much that she could quote it of the top of her head. 

*This is an actual inside joke between the author of this fic and their cousin, basically we thought of an entire campaign where we just play angry Scottish dwarfs who accidentally start the end of the world and start raging war on everything whilst simultaneously trying to save the world.

*Granted, she'd only stayed for six months but those basic fencing skills had stuck with her for her entire life.

*Despite there being no visible source of light.


	19. Tears of Angels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam Young arrives at the scene upon realising what the hell had gone down, only to find his 'god-sister' in a broken mess.

Adam Young felt the disappearance of evil in the air, and yet he also sensed something else, something horrible. unimaginable despair caused by the evil, he dropped the mug he had been holding, alerting Pepper, Anathema and Newt to his reaction. 

"Adam? what's happened?" Pepper asked her husband

"it's done, it's over" Adam said simply

"that's good, thank God" Pepper said*

"I do hope Agnes is alright" Newt replied

"but something's not right" 

Adam got up, making his chair topple over in the process, he ran out of the room, the other adults looked at each other before following him concerned for the children. Adam hoped his gut was wrong, but they all knew that something bad had happened, something terrible.

* * *

* * *

when they arrived at the cricket field, they were met with the aftermath of the scene. three unconscious children (teenagers) were slowly waking up from their sleep, the weather had dropped and it was back to normal freezing British weather for that time of year. but the devastation had done too much, The Young family's attention was soon drawn when hey heard a wail, a scream of despair, for there, in the centre of the the stirring members of the Loser Troupe, a preteen half angel- half demon was knelt, tears streaming down her face, cradling the one teenager who was not stirring, or even moving. The girl's hair was redder with the the blood of her best friend, mixed with the blood of her enemy, the yellow hoodie was stained with the same blood and charcoal like smudges from the impact the sword had made from colliding with the demon known as Lilith, and to everyone's surprise, sticking out of her back were two angelic wings, with half black, half white feathers. nobody had seen these in eight years, since the last time her life was in danger, the wings were wrapped around the two bloodied teenagers, shielding the boy in her arms from further harm, not that it mattered, Cyrus Black was dead.

Anathema and Newt immediately ran to check on their daughter, all the remaining group were fine, albeit a little dazed, but they held each other as they realised the devastation. Adam walked cautiously up to his God-sister and knelt besides her comforting her like the practically big brother he was to her. 

"it's my fault- it's my fault" Delilah was sobbing 

"it's not your fault, it's his mum's" 

"no but if I'd not challenged her to that bloody duel, then Cyrus wouldn't be dead"   

 "there was nothing you could do" Pepper smiled sadly

Delilah looked  up at Adam her eyes flooding with tears. 

"c-can't you bring him back?" 

Adam shook his head sadly 

"I can't- I don't know if my powers are strong enough"

"but you're the Anti-Christ! can't you do SOMETHING?"

Adam paused before smiling "oh, Delilah with two L's and a H*, I can do something, but it might not bring him back" 

Adam closed his eyes and focused, and slowly but surely the world turned back to normality, fixing everything destroyed in the ensuing chaos. when he opened them again. the world was no longer broken.

* * *

* * *

 The world spun, everything was normal. well, everything except Cyrus. Cyrus, after following the fourth horseman, death to Purgatory (he had been fairly certain he'd seen a glimpse of Aziraphale and Crowley whilst there but he couldn't have been certain) and straight into the depth of Hell, was now stuck there and he'd made his peace with that. But what he hadn't made his peace with was that he'd now left Delilah behind without telling her everything. without saying goodbye and he resented his mum for that more than anything! and what made it worse was he was now facing Hastur as his receptionist or the demon with the list of who he was working under. 

"Cyrus Black" Hastur had greeted him 

"Hastur, how's things? everything dark and miserable"

"haha, funny"

"listen I know you're supposed to assign me a task and all, but I'm really not supposed to be here"

"that's what they all say" 

"well seriously, I have some shit upstairs I need take care of upstairs in the mortal world and everything"

"nice try, nobody gets up there without permission from Beelzebub or our lord Satan" 

"what if I make a deal?"

"deal?" Hastur's ears burned with what he was hearing "I haven't made a deal with anyone for centuries" 

"exactly, I'll make you a deal and we can all shove this under the rug" 

"under the rug?"

"human expression, and no, Crowley did not come up with it" 

"what is your offer?" 

"I offer you my first born child in exchange for life up on the surface" Cyrus said simply using the old Fairytale, Rumplestiltskin as a ploy to get back to life, he was not going to really hold up his end of the bargain, obviously, he wasn't that horrible. 

Hastur thought about this before saying one word. 

"no" 

"what?" 

Hastur smiled

"I have a better bargain than that" 

Cyrus went cold (well that wasn't a surprise there, he was dead after all) this was not what he had been expecting, a counter deal? from Hastur? that was like- he didn't know but it was horrible! 

"it's the only way you're getting out is if you agree to my terms"

Cyrus gulped. there was no other option. he had to hear the demon out.

"go ahead" 

* * *

* * *

Everyone was crying now, properly grieving. Ned and Dexter were holding each other, Anathema and Newt were comforting Agnes, who despite not knowing Cyrus long was struggling to see her crush so upset.Pepper and Adam were holding Delilah tightly, she'd lost everything now and she'd been hit the hardest. for her it was not a victory but a lose lose situation. she was for the first time in her life properly lost. 

"come on, we should go in doors, it's getting late" Anathema suggested out of her kind heart, everyone was freezing and crying did not make it any better.they needed to warm up and cry in doors instead.

"no, you can't make me" Delilah had said quietly her voice hoarse from crying "I won't leave him" 

"and you won't have to" a croaky voice spoke from the ground. everyone looked towards he body to see Cyrus awake but weak. his skin pale and his grey eyes had black circles under them, in fact he looked like death but he was very much alive. "nice wings there Lila, didn't know you had those" he smiled at Delilah 

"Cyrus!" Delilah wrapped her arms around him with a cry of relief "you're alive" 

"what gave it away?" Cyrus joked before Delilah pulled away "what the Heaven happened to you?"

"long story"  

"I'm sure I've got time" 

"can you walk?" 

"I think so, but you're going to have to help me" 

Delilah nodded, smiling tiredly at Cyrus. she helped him up, and with one arm over her shoulder, they limped back to the house with the rest of the group.ready for the rest of their lives. 

* * *

*Pepper had in fact matured in the fourteen years since the apocalypse and was a bit more sensible but she still had the feminist Pepper spark she once had, especially after learning that God was a woman, and proving that the patriarchy had also reached new heights because every human assumed God was a man.

*Inside joke from when Delilah was little, when she had learned to spell her name properly she'd always introduce herself as 'Delilah, with two L's and a H' , which Adam found hilarious (also a technical reference to the DW episode Daleks in Manhattan and Evolution of the Daleks) 

 


	20. An Ineffable Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The world is back to normal, but Delilah has to face the consequences of her actions.

Dinner at Jasmine Cottage had been a special occasion, full of celebration, they'd done it. Delilah had done it! she'd defeated Lilith, trapping her in the ninth circle of hell to be tortured and chained for eternity. the flaming sword had disappeared and was safe back at the school in London, and presumably the students had snapped out of the evil hypnosis set upon them by the forces of Hell. The world was spinning like normal and everyone was happy. Delilah, sipping at her diet coke, looked around the room, with a smile. 

Newt and Anathema were effectively doting over Agnes (to her dismay) saying how proud they were of her, Dexter and Ned were together, Ned fiddling with his phone, probably texting his parents or fiddling with his software app or something whilst Dexter had his arm wrapped around Ned, watching over his shoulder, telling him what to put to his parents, and Delilah thought they'd make a cute couple, if Ned wasn't so oblivious and Dexter's family weren't homophobic. Adam and Pepper were talking to Cyrus, it seemed rather important, but she couldn't make out quite what they were saying, but she was glad that Cyrus was alright, being pulled back from the dead was a horrible experience she knew that, and it made you feel quite sick afterwards, and she’d have to enquire about how he came back later, she was actually pretty curious about it. He kept glancing over at Delilah though and that made her uneasy, were they talking about her? ah that can be a question for another day. Right now she was just tired and wanted to settle down and continue reading Terry Pratchett's _'Discworld_ ' series..... which she had left at home. home... the bookshop... Aziraphale and Crowley! Oh God!  _HOW_ did she forget about her parents? Delilah's eyes darted to her iPhone, ten to seven. TEN TO SEVEN!

"Delilah? are you okay?" Anathema asked

"yeah, we have to go!" she said loud enough to rally the troupes

"oh why do you- oh Aziraphale and Crowley, you need to check whether they're back or not"

Delilah nodded and the group headed outside to the gate, the stars twinkling above them good as new, you could probably see Alpha Centuri from here if you tried hard enough*

"it's too late to get a bus and Adam put the Bentley back where you took it-" Agnes pointed out 

"Dick Turpin!" Newt exclaimed 

"what?" 

"my car- you could borrow my car" 

"do you really want me driving your car uncle Newt?" 

"well on second thoughts"

"thanks for the offer, and the food by  the way"

"no need, you're always welcome to Jasmine Cottage" Anathema said 

"how are we going to get back?" Ned asked

it was then that a bus horn sounded, and a bus appeared out of nowhere, with London on the top. 

"did you do that?" Dexter asked Delilah

"no" 

"that was me, boy, these miracles are really good once you get used to it" Cyrus admitted 

"Cyrus! you can't just do that, what if the driver questions it, that poor man" Delilah turned to him 

"eh he won't know anything angel, don't worry" the boy smirked 

"I'm not a- you know what? sod it, I'll let this one slide" 

"knew you'd warm to the nickname eventually" 

"have not, I'm sick of it, I almost puke every-time my dad calls my pa that"

"stop squabbling like an old married couple and say goodbye before the bus drives off" Adam said 

Delilah turned to Adam and hugged him tightly

"thank you, for helping me out" 

"you're welcome but you really don't need to say thank you, you're my little sister" 

"figuratively, your little sister, not literally" 

she said goodbye to the others, promising Agnes to video chat her soon and they Loser Troupe got on the bus to Soho London, Delilah plonked herself on the aisle seat next to Cyrus and sent a prayer to God, hopeful that her parents were safe and sound.  

* * *

* * *

 

Back in Soho, the bus dropped the four off, two streets away from the bookshop and opposite Cyrus' house. 

"hey look my bike is back home, Adam clearly was feeling generous"

"for the Antichrist" Dexter said "...I think I need to re-evalate my entire belief system after that encounter" 

"ah at least you know God doesn't damn you to hell for it" Ned said a bit more confident now, smiling at Dexter. 

"that's true" 

"you guys going to stay over at mine tonight?" Cyrus said 

"well we told our parents that we were so they wouldn't worry" Dexter said 

"oh for G-Sat-for somebody's sake, my parents are going to be so worried, if they are there" Delilah said

"they will be" Dexter said 

"hey, come on Lila, they'll definately be there, Adam wouldn't have neglected them"

"I-I hope you're right" Delilah said "thank you guys, i never said it, I wouldn't have been able to do it without you" 

"I swear if you announce a group hug, I'll discorporate you" Cyrus said "even if you are my best friend and my-"

"your what?" Delilah asked she’d completely forgotten about what Cyrus had shouted on the battlefield at Lilith and Cyrus was thankful that he wouldn’t have to explain that slip of the tongue tonight.

"doesn't matter. PARENTS! GO!" Cyrus ordered and the group watched as Delilah bolted down the direction to the shop. 

"....you were about to say crush weren't you?" Dexter asked 

"yep" 

"why didn't you?" Ned asked 

"that's a conversation for another time, one day" 

"so tomorrow?"

"soon. and that's all you're getting" Cyrus said suddenly sounding lost in thought. "I swear I'll do it soon"  

* * *

* * *

 

Delilah ran in the cold down the streets of Soho, to get to the bookshop, she had no idea whether her parents were alive or what she would find. her heart was racing, she was sprinting, her stamina was keeping up with her, she was too charged with adrenaline to stop and consider the consequences of any of her actions the past day or two. as she got closer, she almost skidded on ice. she steadied herself, realising that it was the exact spot her bike had skidded on, she stopped. taking in the view. the Bentley was now parked in front of the shop, spotless, not a scratch* in sight, her light blue bike was alone, parked up against the window of the shop, not four bikes, like it had been when they'd left London, The sign on the door was switched to closed and the lights were on. she shut her eyes trying to see if she could focus and hear something. A voice. parents talking. something to let her know they were alive she heard nothing. silence. she frowned. and walked up to the door, the blind was down. she hesitated opening the door fearing for what she would find. her hand hovered over the door handle, should she go in? she was terrified, what would she do if they hadn't been restored? she had no idea how stuff like that worked, where would she go? would she have to be adopted? would anything happen at all?...what if everything wasn't normal anymore? what if they didn't remember her? but that was then that she heard it. a voice. coming from inside the house. 

" _Crowley where is she? she should be back by now, it's nearly nine o'clock, and you heard her voice mail, something must have happened!"_

_"Aziraphale, she's going to be fine, knowing her she's probably lost track of time, she'll be fine"_

_"but what if she's not? Crowley? what if she's not! what do we do?"_

_"I-I don't know angel, I don't know"_

Delilah's eyes lit up and in one single push, she swung open the door and stepped inside. only to see nobody there. she started to worry, had she been imagining things?

"pa? dad? anyone?"

her heart thumped, nobody replied, she had to have imagined it, Delilah started to tear up, distraught that her parents were gone and her attempts had failed  but suddenly there were the sound of footsteps footsteps, and through her watering eyes, firey red hair and dark clothing and light blonde hair and blue shirt and brown waistcoat were a blurly image. 

"Delilah?" 

"Delilah!"

"Dad! Pa!" 

Delilah found her feet stumbling across the floor and before she knew it she'd flung her arms around the pair in a tight embrace. 

"oh Delilah! my little girl, you had us worried sick" Azirahale managed out, he was crying

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" Delilah said sobbing "you were gone- both of you were gone- I didn't know-I-"

"don't you ever do something that dangerous again" 

"I- I won't" 

"you shouldn't leave voicemails like that, your pa was losing his mind" Crowley said and to her surprise, Delilah realised that Crowley was hugging her back, holding her tightly   

"not you though?" she sniffed 

there was a pause from the demon, a hesitation, then, he replied 

"if you knew about how worried I was the world would explode" he spoke softly, the quietest voice Delilah had heard him speak in since she was, well, little.

"how did you defeat Lilith anyway?" Crowley asked  

"Doesn’t matter. I kind of have a confession though” time to come clean, Delilah knew this was probably the best time to tell the truth about the Bentley.

“what do you want to confess to your pa? We’re all ears! In fact I doubt I’d be mad for whatever it is since I’m a demon anyway” Crowley said he was just willing to listen into Delilah telling the truth because Aziraphale’s reactions sometimes made him laugh depending on what the thing was. Delilah swallowed nervously.

“I- I- may have borrowed and crashed your car" 

"you  _WHAT_?" 

Crowley pulled away and Aziraphale pulled away too with the confession in the air, Delilah thought it would be a good idea to repeat herself.

"Lilith made me crash the car and I almost died?"

"I don't know whether to be impressed or furious" Crowley looked as if he was about to faint. Delilah knew he’d be super upset over this but she had not expected that.

"wait, you know how to drive?" Aziraphale asked 

"....dad taught me"

"Crowley, what were you thinking?"

"she needed basic skills, it was bonding time between father and daughter"

"there are more safer things than teaching a twelve year old how to drive" 

Delilah let out a strangled cry of desperation and worry at Aziraphale's sternness alerting the parents. 

"please don't fight, you're not meant to fight, I don't want to lose you both again" 

 Aziraphale looked at Crowley again before smiling at his daughter 

"we're never going to fight again" 

"unrealistic" 

"Crowley" 

"no, those are crocodile tears, fake ones! she knows we weren't fighting"

Delilah stiffled a laugh "yeah okay you got me, but it did stop you from fighting though" 

"that is true" 

"okay, I think you've mastered the art of lying to Aziraphale" 

"and you dad- I convinced you I’d crashed a bus" 

"I'm so proud of you for that" Crowley smiled "you're still grounded though" 

"I'm what?" 

"In effect from Friday for let’s say, about a century!"

"oh" Delilah said before cheering up "you know what? I'm not even remotely upset"

"why?"

"because I get to spend more time with my loving and caring parents" 

 "that's really sweet and I'm glad you want to-" Aziraphale smiled "hey, wait, no, that's not going to work with me young lady, you heard your dad, there's no getting out of it by 'sweet talking' me"

Delilah shrugged 

"worth a shot, anyway, I am exhausted, I'm going to bed"

Aziraphale smiled at his daughter, as did Crowley, a warm, genuine smile.

"Goodnight Delilah, my dear girl" 

"night Lila" 

"goodnight Pa, Goodnight dad"

"sweet dreams" 

and as Delilah snuggled into her nice warm bed two minutes later, in her cosy bedroom above the shop, she smiled, for she had her family back, and they weren't going anywhere. not ever.

 

 

* * *

*If you were a being with supernatural powers like a Celestial being or a being of the Occult. 

*Or a completely crushed engine.


	21. You Will Be Found (The Best Birthday Ever)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Delilah’s thirteenth birthday arrives, and this year might just be the best birthday yet...

Crowley and Aziraphale tiptoed up the stairs of the bookshop and down the short corridor to their daughter’s room. They creaked open the door and poked their heads into the room a sleeping Delilah, facing the door dribbling saliva onto her pillow as she dreamed.

”three, two, one” 

“ _Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Delilah, Happy birthday to you_ ” they sang as they entered the room Delilah opened her eyes to it smiling and rubbed the sleepy dust from her eyes as she sat up.

“Dad? Pa?”she yawned "why are you getting me up for school?" 

her parents looked at each other before looking back at her. Aziraphale looked concerned at the girl. 

"it's your birthday, dear? why else would we be singing happy birthday to you?"

Delilah's eyes widened and she looked at her cute puppy calendar on her wall, where in big red writing, 'my birthday' was written. she looked back at her parents a smile appearing on her face 

"how did I forget that? I guess I was so busy saving the world yesterday, I forgot about it!”

”easy mistake to make” Aziraphale replied 

“what’s the time?” Delilah asked yawning once more 

“just gone half ten” Crowley replied after looking at the clock on the wall

”half ten? I’m going to be late for school! No, scrap that, I am late for school!” 

Aziraphale shook his head “we got a phone call this morning, apparently all the electricity and water has been cut off in the school and so it’s closed until at least tomorrow” 

“hmm that’s awfully convenient, considering what day it is” Delilah said giving a side glance to Crowley who shrugged 

“You seemed like you needed a day off, so a little demonic miracle was in order. Think of it as an extra birthday present” 

Delilah put on a display of mock surprise  “extra present? I have presents?” 

“They’re downstairs” Aziraphale beamed at Delilah 

“I’m offended that you think we wouldn’t get you anything!” Crowley exclaimed mock offended at even the suggestion 

“Come on, let’s go and open them!” Aziraphale said “oh, but do get dressed first” he said 

“okay!” Delilah smiled and Crowley and Aziraphale left the room, leaving Delilah to get dressed.

* * *

* * *

Delilah had been treated to a very nice breakfast (crepes with chocolate sauce and whipped cream), and had opened her twelve small presents which consisted of a few items of clothing (a black faux-leather jacket, a new light brown woolly cardigan, a Harry Potter Gryffindor t-shirt, and some new Doc-Martins), some new DnD dice, a couple of books (a copy of Les Misérables and the Divine Comedy) and new paintbrushes and watercolours, when Crowley left the room and entered it again with a tiny black kitten, no more than twelve weeks old, with a tiny red bow tied round it's neck in his arms. 

"a-a kitten?" Delilah's eyes widened in suprise before turning to Aziraphale "I thought-  but pa, you said no pets!"*

"we figured you'd be old enough for one, and a cat seemed less trouble than a dog" Aziraphale smiled 

Delilah hurried over to Crowley taking the kitten out of his arms and putting it down on the floor to get used to it's surroundings. 

"there you go Salem" 

"Salem? good name" Crowley smiled

"well I wasn't going to name him after a Queen song, unlike someone I know"

Aziraphale looked confused as Crowley went white with fear. 

"y-you remember me telling you that? how? you were not even two days!" 

"You forget I have as good as a memory as you and pa"

"that was a secret between you and me! and you managed not to bring that up for twelve years and 364 days!"

"looks like I'm hitting my rebellious phase" Delilah stuck her tongue out at her dad

Aziraphale finally caught up with the conversation and it clicked with what they were talking about

"you named our daughter after a Queen song?" he exclaimed 

"...no?" Crowley winced 

"why am I not surprised?" Aziraphale signed "that I didn't immedately pick up on that?"

Crowley paused confused for a second

"you aren't annoyed at me for that?" 

"no, of course not Crowley, I  know how devastated you were when Freddie Mercury died*, I'd never be mad at you for naming her in honour of him or after something you enjoy" Aziraphale smiled "but I did always suspect there was an ulterior motive to naming our child Delilah and shame on you for not admitting it sooner" 

Crowley smiled at the angel before turning to delilah 

"that's it for the presents"

"I know, what are we going to do now?"

"well we don't have anything planned until dinner this evening, so I suppose it's up to you" Aziraphale said as they walked into the front of the bookshop as Aziraphale had a few customers to keep an eye on.

"well In that case-" 

they were interrupted by the shop door ringing and a voice saying.

"Lila! Happy Birthday!"

* * *

* * *

Delilah spun around to see her best friend Cyrus having walked into the shop and was stood at the door. In a white shirt and a blue tie under a dark green jumper. but still sporting his red beanie hat of course.   

"thank's Cyrus"

"hello Aziraphale, hello Crowley"

"hello Cyrus" Aziraphale smiled warmly at the boy 

"what's with the fancy dress?" Delilah inquired 

"got an event today, hopefully" Cyrus shrugged "oh, uh, these are for you" 

he handed Delilah a box of chocolates and a bouquet of flowers. "I didn't know what to get you, this year, so I got you your favourite chocolates, Lint, of course, you'd know that, um, the flowers were dad's idea"

"oh, thank you" Delilah said a little bemused as to why Cyrus was acting nervous "do you want to meet Salem?" 

"Salem?" 

"my new Kitten" 

"why not?" he smiled

at that moment Salem the cat trotted into the room, sniffing around, took one look at Cyrus and hissed and left the room.  

"that's odd, I'd expected her to hiss at dad, not you, it's as if she's sensed something" 

"...weird"

"yeah" 

Cyrus looked nervously at the ground, at his feet, more specifically before taking a deep breath and looking up at the girl 

"hey, uh Lila" 

"yeah?"

"I was wondering if you wanted to catch a film, there's a good one playing and I thought you'd like it" 

"oh, um yeah, when?" 

"well I was wondering if you'd like to go now?" 

"who else is going?" 

"no one else, I thought it would be just like the old times, we haven't seen a film with just the two of us for a while" 

"not for three years at most... but I can't, I'm sorry, as much as I want to go to the cinema with my best friend, I was going to do something with my parents" Delilah said looking apologetically at the boy "rain check on it though?" 

"yeah, sure, I get it, after the scare yesterday I wouldn't blame you, we'll do a rain check" Cyrus said sounding a little disappointed but hiding it well "I'll just go, you know, enjoy your time with your parents, see you at school" he said and turned around to walk away 

"bye Cyrus!" 

Delilah smiled and waved as Cyrus walked out of the bookshop. Delilah then turned to face her parents ready to let them know what she wanted to do only to find Crowley wincing from something and Aziraphale with his head in his hands. 

"Crucifixion would have been kinder on him Delilah" Crowley said

"I felt that rejection second hand" Aziraphale muttered 

"what? we can catch the movie another time" Delilah pointed out completely oblivious "why are you two making such a big deal out of it?" 

"she's inherited your obliviousness, Aziraphale" 

"what?" 

"my dear, it was quite obvious that, Cyrus was asking you out on a date" Aziraphale pointed out softly 

Delilah snorted with laughter "no he wasn't" 

"he was, flowers? Chocolates? asking you out to the cinema? he couldn't have been more obvious if he was holding a sign that read 'go out with me Delilah?" on it" Crowley commented

"but Cyrus doesn't like me like that"

"-especially with those flowers!"

"what about them?"

"his dad's a historian" Aziraphale said 

"Victorian flower language" Crowley agreed "look, give those flowers here" 

Delilah gave the bouquet of flowers to Crowley with a look of confusion 

"white carnations, pure love, blue violets, tend to mean faithfulness and a single red rose on in the middle? that boy could not be anymore in love with you!"

"wait... you've you've got to be joking?"

"we lived through the Victorian times remember? and your dad is very well verse in information about flowers" Aziraphale said

Delilah's heart started to get quicker with the realisation of the truth. Cyrus had a crush on her? but that means-

"you're serious? you're actually serious?" She asked her parents "Cyrus has a crush on me?"  

"yes!" Crowley exclaimed 

"what the hell do I do?"

"well, Delilah, dear, do you have feelings for him as well?" 

"I- I think so?" 

"no, you do, I can feel it" Aziraphale smiled

"so what do I do now?"   

"don't wait six thousand years and go after him!" Crowley exclaimed   

"oh holy-" Delilah immediately turned and ran out of the shop the door slamming behind her "Cyrus! wait! hold up!" 

Aziraphale smiled at Crowley with the biggest smile on his face 

"what?" 

"you're a romantic" 

"I'm not- I was just prodding her in the right direction"

"I'm sure you were but you know what?" Aziraphale said

"what?"

"I've got a feeling Delilah's in the for long haul with Cyrus"

"ugh, if that's the case, I just hope I don't have to witness anything with teenage hormones"

Aziraphale chuckled

"now come on, you go and play with Salem whilst I manage the bookshop, then we'll discuss about going out for dinner to night"

Crowley let out a sigh and huffed off to go and play with the cat.

Delilah enjoyed her date with Cyrus, she had a lot of fun. and she knew, from the moment she'd woken up that day, that even at thirteen years old, this birthday was the best birthday she could ever wish for and nothing would ever beat it, never. 

* * *

*Aziraphale had been extremely skeptical about his daughter getting a pet and it living primarily in the bookshop, as much as he loved all of God's creatures, he could not cope if his beloved books got ruined (and no, Crowley did not count as a pet).

*Crowley had been friends with Freddie Mercury and had attended a few of Queen's parties, this was one of the reasons why he wasn't bothered by the Bentley constantly playing their music and the fact that Queen's music is amazing!


	22. Epilogue: The Rest of Our Lives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little over 5 years later, and Delilah is ready to start the rest of her life, just as long as she has the right people alongside her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's the epilogue to the story, there will be a sequel and the prequel/sequel thing is still ongoing so keep an eye out for that!  
> 

One morning in July, Delilah Crowley stood with a smile in a park down the road from the small cottage her parents resided in Southern England. It had been two months since Aziraphale and Crowley had moved out to the South Downs and they seemed to be happy. Crowley still had the Bentley, and Aziraphale had kept his bookshop (although Delilah was the one who now looked after it) but they were mostly retired to the south. Apparently, it had been on the cards for years, ever since they took that one holiday there when she was five, but they wanted to wait until Delilah had finished primary school before they did anything and then they just- never found the time to move. So, now, thirteen years after they’d originally decided, they’d finally ‘retired’. 

Delilah did not mind about this arrangement. It did not effect her as much as she’d originally thought, of course, she was still residing in London, in the bookshop, along with Cyrus, and she was going to go to RADA (the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts), in London, in September, so it barely impacted her at all and she was happy for them. 

So, why had she been staying over at Aziraphale and Crowley’s for the summer if she’d been living with Cyrus and was going to remain in London anyway? Well the answer to that question was, that day, in July was a special day she’d been looking forward to for her entire life. For today was the day Delilah Crowley was going to get her happy ending and become Delilah Black.

Cyrus had proposed on Christmas Eve back two years ago. They’d been visiting Dexter and Ned’s new home along with Agnes (who had become quite good friends with the three other members of the Loser Troupe) and he’d just dropped down on one knees in front of all of them after dinner and proposed and even though he didn’t have a ring, and they were only sixteen and that she had no idea why Cyrus couldn’t wait until they were eighteen or older to propose, she’d said yes, because they’d been best friends with each other for twelve years at that point and dating for three. But as expected, he had not told any of their family members he was planning this and naturally they’d been met with apprehension  from both sides (mainly Cyrus’ grandmother who hated Delilah and thought he was rushing into things and Crowley who just couldn’t accept he would have to give away his only child and hated the idea of having to put up with family get together's with Cyrus’ entire family) but once they’d explained to everyone that Delilah’s stipulation was that, they wait until they both reached eighteen to actually tie the knot, everything was fine. 

"ready to go my dear girl?" a voice whispered from her right as she was offered an arm. Aziraphale. 

Aziraphale had thrown himself into helping with every single wedding preparation there was and Delilah had been grateful for it. In fact, He'd been more enthusiastic about it than Delilah was. he'd even been willing to pay for it, which had made Delilah more sure he just really enjoyed weddings.

"yeah? I think so?"

"you think so?" 

"just nerves" 

"there's nothing really to be nervous about" 

"you're right, like always pa" 

Delilah smiled and took Aziraphale's arm. taking a deep breathe they took the first step down the makeshift aisle to day of her dreams.

* * *

* * *

The ceremony was beautiful, like Aziraphale hoped it would be, nothing went amiss and everyone had a great time. the reception at a village hall was even more of a blast. the songs were a mix of modern (and by modern I mean 2000's-2010's music that both Delilah and Cyrus were fond of) and Queen (Delilah claimed it was just to please Crowley but that was a complete lie), the food was on point and the father of the bride speech Crowley had done made sure there wasn't a single dry eye in the room (including Crowley himself, although he'd be in denial for the rest of his life about it). 

the first dance arrived quicker than expected, and everyone watched the happy couple sway to the music, acting so much in love, that even random people passing by the hall would feel it. Aziraphale and Crowley stood shoulder to shoulder, watching the show, focusing solely on the happy moment. however Crowley seemed to be far from the happy mood Aziraphale was in. the angel noticed this, and his gaze turned to his husband. 

"are you alright my dear?"

"yeah" 

"are you sure?"

crowley wet his lips with his tongue before replying

"I will be"

"I know you've never been one for talking about feelings, but, do you want to talk to me about it?"

Crowley blinked, his eyes never leaving his daughter and his son in law. hesitating, before deciding that perhaps he could talk to his angel about this one without him gently encouraging it or waiting hours for him to do it. 

"she's grown up" 

"I know what you mean" Aziraphale smiled "It's flown by" 

"that's not the part that's bothering me, angel"

"what is it about that that's bothering you?"

"I hate to get sentimental about this stuff but, one minute, she's a little vulnerable baby in my arms looking up at me as I get frustrated about her crying whilst in my old appartment hiding from a demon hellbent on murder, the next she's down a makeshift aisle in a park, in the arms of her childhood best friend.  she doesn't need me to look out for her anymore" 

Aziraphale noticed that Crowley had started to tear up from behind his glasses, sad tears at a wedding? that will not do! especially from a demon who rarely showed that much emotion about anything. Aziraphale's hand reached up to Crowley's cheek and Crowley finally looked at him. Aziraphale gave him a soft smile. 

"she'll always need us, Crowley, I know it, you know it, she's never going to replace us"

"how do you know that? we could be rejected as soon as this is over"

"no you're not, I'm always going to be your little girl, and I'm always going to need you and pa" 

this made both the angel and demon jump, and realise the song had ended during their conversation and  the bride and groom had arrived at the demon and angel's side and heard the latter half of the conversation.

"you do mean that right?" 

"course I do! have you ever doubted me?"

"no" 

"exactly, now come here both of you and give me a hug!"

Delilah wrapped her arms around her parents tightly, pulling Cyrus in with her, Crowley immedately cheered up from this familiarity of his daughters hugs. 

"we're proud of you Delilah dear" Aziraphale said 

"extremely" Crowley agreed 

"I'm just lucky to have the best parents I could ask for" Delilah smiled 

"the speech was a cracker Crowley" Cyrus complimented 

"ah I had some pretty good stories" Crowley said "Delilah was a pretty difficult child" 

"I was not that difficult!" 

"no you weren't" Azitraphale confirmed

"oh dear god" they heard Cyrus say as he'd turned his head towards the bar "grandmother's complaining about the champagne again"

the couple pulled away and Delilah looked over. her grandmother in law was truly the worst guest at the ceremony, she hated her grandchildren and their families and yet demanded to be invited. 

"i didn't even want to invite her" Cyrus muttered "oh for- GRANDMOTHER STOP!" he hurried towards his grandmother. 

"sorry guys I'll be right back, got to deal with this"

"good luck" Crowley said 

"we'll need it" Delilah said before hurrying after Cyrus to deal with the situation "but she's never seen the wrath of Delilah Crowley before, this could be interesting"

Aziraphale chuckled at Delilah's outlook on the situation knowing that she'll be alright. Crowley threw a arm round the angel's shoulder.

"I don't know why I was being so ridiculous, she's clearly got the whole thing handled" 

"she's got that from you, you know?" Aziraphale smiled

"yeah" Crowley said 

"I'm rather looking forward to what's next in the future"

"you are?" 

"they might decide to have children! won't that be amazing? we could be grandparents!" Aziraphale was filled with glee with that thought 

"it's all fun and games until you realise that any children of theirs will be seventy five percent demon" Crowley said rather amused at the prospect 

"oh. oh they will won't they?" 

"and the angel and human part will barely be there" 

"dear lord, what have we gotten into?" Aziraphale went white with realisation 

"still looking forward to the future?" Crowley joked nudging the angel in the side. 

Aziraphale looked at Crowley relaxing a little at the teasing 

"as long as I still have my family, I am" Aziraphale said 

"sap"     

"I'm an angel, I enjoy sappy things anyway you can talk mr 'I don't cry at weddings'"

"I did not cry! those were my allergies playing up!" Crowley protested

"demons don't get allergies" 

"oh _shut up_ " 

Aziraphale laughed and Crowley smiled. everything was perfect. the future was on the horizon, and the angel and demon were sure it would be a happy one, and even if it wasn't then they were sure that they could get through it as a family and that was the way it should be.

* * *

* * *

However, what nobody noticed on that happy day, was the angel sat at the back of the hall, drinking and watching the party goers with a stern look, having accidentally listened into the conversation between the other angel and demon, receiving a text that put fear into any celestial being.

 _'Gabriel knows'_      

he looked down and gulped at the words, and said a prayer for the future. Before grabbing his trench coat and fedora off the coat hanger, and taking off into the night.

there was one feeling lingering behind him that night. 

whatever the demon and angel thought of a happy ending, they were wrong. Families were about to be torn apart, angels were about to fall and rebellion was upon them. 

* * *

Their problems were far from over.....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this story and I hope you enjoyed it! 😊❤️  
> ~Fandomgeek14


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